You Without Me
by PiperElizabethMcLean
Summary: Headmaster Dr. Edward Cullen needs to replace a previous teacher. Substitute Ms. Bella Swan reluctantly agrees- but only for the time being. She thinks he's beautiful. He thinks she's lost- but he can't stay away of course. Will they be able to dodge ex's, the past, and school rules?
1. Chapter 1

_The Academy needs a new first grade teacher, and fast. After the previous teacher was sacked, Dr. Edward Cullen desperately hires Ms. Bella Swan as a substitute until further notice. Always knowing Bella as simply "Renee's daughter," the first time Edward lays eyes on Bella, he's dumbstruck. She's not the young girl who has always been described to him by her adoring mother, but rather a beautiful young lady with what seems like a troubling past. Bella is attracted to everything about Edward Cullen, but everything tells her this is a bad idea: her past, her newly beloved job, and even her new teacher friends. Will Bella overcome these obstacles or will she let them convince her that Edward Cullen is simply not worth it?_

 **First of all, let me just apologize for the annoying author's note that will be placed here before every chapter that I know most of you will skim over (don't play, I know how y'all are- I do the same thing when I read fan fictions, but just as you and I both already know, it is somewhat necessary). Second, I need to give credit to Stephanie Meyer for her beautifully crafted characters. None of these characters belong to me, but their occasional Out Of Character personalities (which will emerge sometimes, I apologize) belong to me, as well as the random characters (I have labeled them as "randos" in my documents lol) that do not appear in Twilight. Finally, I would like to apologize for my absence. I know it isn't fair for me to just pop in after months (lol, i guess by now it has been years?) of disappearing, but stick with me, friends. I also am aware that Twilight is not my usual story to stick to (shout out to Percy Jackson. My heart does indeed belong with Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase) but I decided to give another book a go. So, that is where we are right now. I'm not so sure where this story is going, but I've done by best to complete a few chapters before uploading, to just get a general idea of the story. I really hope all goes well with this.**

You Without Me

Chapter 1

I hated everything about him. I hated how he did it, I hated how I cried, and most of all, I hated how I still held on to the scrap of paper like he was coming back any second to take it out of my hands and tell me it was a mistake, and that it wasn't real.

I wanted it to be a dream.

I hated him.

I loved him.

I wiped at my swollen eyes with the scratchy material on my hoodie's sleeve and sniffed as quietly as I could. I could see the cab driver shift uncomfortably in front of me, and I thought surely he had seen many passengers in sticky situations before. Surely the driver had seen passengers cry in his back seat before? Deciding that maybe the poor guy was new, I sighed loudly and promised myself I wouldn't cry anymore over the situation.

At least, not in front of anybody else.

I wiped at my face one more time, wincing at the raw, aching skin against the uncomfortable material. I told myself to breathe easy as the cab pulled up in front of a medium-sized, red brick house. A red Corolla sat in the driveway, just a few feet away from the black front door with gold letters marking the house number. I pushed the cab door open just as the door burst open.

My mother ran out, pajama pants on and her hands flying to the strings on her robe to tie it across her abdomen. As soon as she grabbed me and her arms enveloped me, I burst into tears again.

I almost cursed myself. I was overcome with anger at him all over again; at myself, for letting myself cry after I promised I was done crying, and at him, for making it this way. I was so mad, so upset, and just so angry.

My mom paid the weary taxi driver while I stood on the front lawn with my face in my hands. I shook and sobbed, probably making a scene, and my mom made soothing shushing noises while trying to pick up the three bags I had shoved in the back of the cab with one arm while the other arm struggled to keep the robes closed while patting my back. I swear my mother tried to be superwoman, or at least grow extra limbs, but she was doing all she could to comfort me as I completely fell apart on the front lawn.

"Baby, come on, come inside," She whispered, my bags bumping against her legs. I nodded and attempted to bend down and pick up the bag, but she gently pushed me away and towards the door.

~oOo~

What felt like only days later, I laid in the guest bedroom, the lights off and the curtains shut tightly. My eyes were so swollen I couldn't have been able to see if there was any shred of light anyway. My nose was so stopped up that I couldn't even sniffle anymore, and my sinuses were so full of fluid that my head felt like it was bursting with needles. I rolled over and almost screamed when I saw my mother standing in the doorway, her hair pulled back in what I called her "teacher hairdo" and wearing what I had also dubbed her "teacher outfit."

"You scared me," I muttered, sliding further down into the covers and pulling the sheets up to my chin.

"I didn't mean to," She said softly, coming further into the room. She stopped by the curtains, her hand resting on the wall beside the fabric.

"Are you going to work?" I asked, already knowing what her answer would be. This happened every morning. She came in before leaving for work, made me eat two pieces of toast, kissed my forehead, and then left after locking the front door behind her for work. This time, though, I didn't see toast in her hand, her purse over her shoulder, or her keys in her hand. I sat up and stared at her.

"Not yet," She shook her head. She reached for the curtains, and before I could brace myself, pulled them open. "I wanted to talk."

The sunlight burned. It wasn't the first time I was seeing sun since arriving at my mother's house, but it felt like it. I almost hissed at it. Instead, I squinted at my mom and squealed.

"What was that for?!"

"I think it will be good for you," She reasoned. "Besides, it's time for you to start facing things… and I believe we should start with the state of your bedroom."

The guest room, as I had not stopped calling it, was now apparently "my bedroom." I looked around the room and winced harder than I had when the sun had blinded me momentarily. I had clothes absolutely everywhere. Dirty pajama pants littered the floor, stale crackers, and old socks cluttered to the point that there was barely any trace of a floor. I sighed. "I'm sorry."

"If you plan to stay here, I'd like to get a few things straight," Her voice shook as she spoke, and I almost thought it was as painful for her to say it as it was for me to hear it. "I don't want to have to be mean, Izzy, but I don't know what else to do here. You won't see a doctor, you refuse to see a therapist, you've stayed in the house for almost two months, and you barely leave your bed. I can't keep seeing you like this. I'm worried."

"Mom," I muttered, looking away from her pleading eyes. I wasn't really sure what to tell her. I didn't exactly know what I would say to a therapist, and there wasn't exactly anything wrong with me that a doctor could heal me for.

"Baby, I just want to see you happy." She leaned over and held her hand out to rub my back, but I scooted closer to the headboard. I didn't want her comfort. I knew what it would lead to.

Every time she comforted me, I cried. I didn't want to cry anymore. Not in front of her.

"I'm fine," I muttered. "I'm just tired."

"Izzy…" She breathed, blinking away tears. I felt my eyes narrow, and I felt the anger start to bubble again. What was wrong with me?! Part of me tried its best to calm down the other part, the angry part, but it was no use. I was already fumbling with the covers, throwing them off of my legs.

"You don't understand! You don't get it!" I raged, my voice not even sounding like my own. It was hoarse, scratchy, and filled with hate and venom. I stumbled out of bed, my legs shaking. "You didn't lose him like I did! You didn't lose…" I hesitated, squeezing my eyes closed. My voice shook as I finished my cry, "You didn't lose everything."

My mom made a small gasping noise, and I lifted my hands to my mouth, covering it and shaking my head. "I don't need a therapist. I don't need a doctor. I just need time."

"I think I know what can help you," She said softly, "Izzy, please don't make me be mean. I don't want to be the mean mother here…"

"You never were the mean mother," I shook my head, thinking back on my childhood. Renee Dawson, my mother, was always there for me, but at the same time she chased after her own dreams, her ambition of being a teacher. She constantly read horoscopes, researched art history, and told me tales of palm readers and superstitions. She relied on these things, and though she was a perfect comforting mother at times, there were still times that she made me think she was genuinely crazy. "You were always kind to me."

She closed her eyes and sighed. "Izzy, I think it's time that you get up and do something. If you don't… well, I've read your horoscope, and it's not looking good. You're never going to get better laying around all day, wasting away your days mourning. It's time."

I stared at her, trying to take her seriously. I couldn't even understand what she was saying. "What exactly are you asking me to do, besides clean this room? Because I am not seeing a therapist."

"I want you to go to work." My mom sat up straighter, her voice holding more authority this time. She seemed like she was trying to be in charge, to at least sound like she had some kind of control. "The school principal, Mrs. Crowley-,"

I interrupted her almost immediately. "NO."

It was easy to say no. As soon as she said the word "school," I thought of my old classroom, the one adorned with the colorings and drawings of my young students, and the desks filled with dimpled smiles, and little finger prints all over my classroom windows. I felt my chest tighten, and my tummy churned. I knew immediately that I wasn't ready to teach again.

"Just hear me out, Izzy-,"

" _NO_! I DON'T WANT A TEACHING JOB! I DON'T WANT TO TEACH. I haven't done it in years, and I don't have any desire to go back!" I told her furiously, my eyes pricking at the thought of little children bobbing around my hips like they used to. My hands instinctively wrapped around my abdomen and I shuddered.

"Isabella Marie Swan! You will stop interrupting me and you will listen!" My mother stood up and crossed her arms across her chest. My eyes widened and my eyebrows rose. I couldn't remember the last time she raised her voice with me. My entire childhood I was never punished, and she never yelled at me. I think I've heard her voice raised maybe three times my whole life, and all three were at my father, before their divorce. Now she was mad at me, and I stopped dead in her tracks.

Immediately guilt and shame washed over me. I felt my cheeks grow hot, and my ears warm. I already felt horrible for yelling at my mother. She had used my full name, a tact she had rarely had to use before to get my attention. She shouldn't have ever had to yell at me.

My mother, who had so graciously sheltered me when I needed it most.

My mother, who had always supported me.

My mother, who had accepted me without question two months ago, when I showed up without any explanation other than a broken heart and a great loss.

She deserved better than this.

"I'm sorry," I said in a small voice. I sat back down, defeated, my feet on the floor and my shoulders hunched.

"Now," She continued, glaring at me, her voice shaking. I looked up at her, my bottom lip sticking out. I dared not cry, though. This wasn't about me at the moment. This was her. This was for my mother, and she deserved my attention. "Mrs. Crowley really needs some help. The headmaster, Dr. Cullen, is away until Friday, and we've had a major problem with a previous teacher."

I sat and waited, not replying. She at least deserved for me to hear her out before politely telling her no again.

I could tell I wasn't going to do it. There was absolutely no way I could go back… I hadn't taught children in years, and I wasn't ready for lesson plans, or being responsible for an entire classroom of children.

I couldn't even control my own life, how could I ever be responsible for other lives?

When my mother saw I wasn't going to interrupt her, she continued, this time more carefully. "Dr. Cullen is expecting Mrs. Crowley to find a replacement before he is back. We're in desperate need for a substitute, Izzy. There's a class of first graders who are so behind because their original teacher isn't here. We thought that since Mrs. Victoria Baker left before Thanksgiving, it wouldn't be a problem until after the holiday, but obviously Thanksgiving is now over and we're facing at least three and a half weeks of a first grade class without any instructor. Now, you know Mrs. Crowley is one of my very good friends and I've told her a lot about you. She asked me last week if I would talk to you about maybe substituting, until Dr. Cullen could find a permanent replacement."

I had remained quiet this entire time, looking down at my hands. They were incredibly pale, shaking, and the nails were chewed to practically bleeding stubs.

"So, what do you think?" My mom asked me softly. She watched me for a moment before adding, "It's just substituting, honey. I knew you would freak out if I told you to go in for an actual interview."

Again, I didn't say anything. I just stared at my hands. I thought of my old classroom again, and of the children sitting on the reading carpet I used to have at the back of the room. I thought of how much I longed to hold my old Cat in the Hat book in my hands and how much I loved to read to my kids at the end of the day, right before their parents picked them up.

"It would only be for a little while… if you don't like it after a day, or decide you really don't have any desire to be there anymore…"

I thought of the little backpacks lining the wall in the back of the classroom, their different colors representing each personality of each child, hanging from their very own hooks. I remember one backpack in specific, a teddy bear's head poking out from between the zippers. It had belonged to a little girl, a girl who had an attachment to her favorite stuffed toy.

My mom stood up and sighed. She smoothed her hands over her slacks and sighed. "Will you at least think about it?"

She walked out of the room, leaving the curtains open and the light flooding through the window. I heard her feet on the stairs, and my face turned to the window again.

I saw a tree in the yard across the road with a cliche tire swing hanging from it. I hadn't noticed a child out playing on it the entire time I had been there at that house. Was there a child that lived in that house? Had it grown up, into an adult, and outgrown the tire swing? My arms tightened around my abdomen again. Would I one day have a child swinging from a tire swing?

I stood and peered into the closet of the guest bedroom I was staying in- the bedroom my mother now claimed belonged to me.

It might as well be mine, I had been here long enough.

Long enough for my mother to unpack the three bags I had brought with me a couple of months ago. Long enough for her to go out and buy me new clothes; new clothes that I had never even taken the store tags off of on account of me never wearing them.

A hanger clinked as I tugged a simple black dress down. I slipped my pajama pants off, my hands roaming over the dress's fabric. It was soft, a t-shirt material. I put it on my bed and continued to undress.

It became painfully obvious how much weight I had lost in the past two months. My grief and mourning had caused me to become skin and bone, to the point that even my underwear hung awkwardly off my hip bones. I pulled on new undergarments, and finally slipped the dress on over my head.

It was like I had pushed my head into an alternate universe rather than through the hole in the fabric. I felt like a washed person, a new person. I took a shaky breath and bent down to retrieve my old black flats from the floor of the closet.

I could do this.

It was just for a day, anyway, and then I could come back until I was ready to try again.


	2. Chapter 2

You Without Me

 **I got a few little replies to my newest fic yesterday so I decided to continue uploading... I think maybe if I feed y'all more chapters i'll get a better response (lol hopefully...) I'd really like to know how this is going. It's going better in my head, but then again, everything sounds better in my head...**

 **Lemme know what you think!**

 **As always, Stephanie Meyer owns everything, and I only own the plot...**

Chapter 2

The Academy was a large school. I sat quietly in my mother's passenger seat of her red Corolla as she pulled into a teacher's parking spot and unbuckled her seatbelt.

The walls of the school were tall and dark grey, but not at all with an air of coldness. It was just the opposite, actually. A cheerful crossing guard walked children across the walkway from the neighborhood across the street from the school, each child dressed in a smart uniform.

I watched as a little girl in a navy skirt skipped alongside what could be her brother, an older boy clad in khaki pants and a light blue button-down shirt. The little girl played with the sleeves of her white blouse and her pigtails swung to and fro as she bounced along. I half-smiled at her before I caught myself and sighed.

This would be a long day, I was sure.

"Are you ready?" My mother was obviously trying to hide her excitement in her voice, but it wasn't working as well as she probably wanted. I heard hope and nerves in her tone.

I opened my mouth to say yes, but nothing came out. I stared back at the little girl hopelessly, but she was gone, already disappearing into the huge double doors at the front of the school with her brother in tow. My mom took my silence as a yes, though, and pushed her driver's door open, expecting me to do the same.

My hands shook as I unbuckled my own seatbelt and my knees wobbled as I slipped out of the passenger's seat and onto the concrete of the parking lot.

 _Oh, get a grip!_

I was acting ridiculous, and I knew it, but I still stood there, staring at the back of my mom's head. She waited for a car to roll past before turning around and smiling at me encouragingly. I walked with her, urging myself to act like a decent human being.

 _That's a lot better, Bella._

We climbed the huge stone steps leading up to the double doors that I had just watched the little girl and her brother disappear into. Little heads bobbed around my waist, just like I remembered, and my hands were wrapped around my midsection before I even realized what I was doing. They continued on to their classrooms, though, various staff members hurrying the students along through.

Wide eyes regarded me curiously as I followed my mother into the large welcome office immediately adjacent to the wide open double doors. Three extremely plushy armchairs sat across from a large marble desk, where a woman with circle glasses, wrinkles, and large dimples greeted teachers passing through.

"Hello, Mrs. Crowley," My mother said cheerfully. She adjusted her purse on her shoulder. It was hard to believe that almost two hours earlier my mother had woken me up, and I had watched that same bag. It didn't even feel like the same morning.

"Hello, Mrs. Dawson!" The older, round woman chirped. She wore a bright yellow cardigan, an equally bright blue blouse, and a pair of brown slacks with the same yellow slippers on her feet. To me, she resembled an Easter egg, but I forced the thought out of my head. "This is my daughter, Bella!"

I was suddenly grateful for the little makeup my mother had dabbed onto my face before we had left the house. It hid the deep circles under my eyes, and had actually reduced the redness around my nose, and I felt much more confident with Mrs. Crowley being so up close to me knowing that my blemishes were covered up. Of course, I wouldn't have had a red, puffy nose and swollen bags under my eyes if I hadn't spent the entire night sniffling and warding off tears…

"Isabella!" Mrs. Crowley gasped, "Why, your mother told me just how beautiful you were, but it is such a nice surprise to see you in person!"

I felt uncomfortable, but I smiled anyways. I no longer felt like myself at all. In the past, it was easy to smile and accept compliments from the boss. My old principal was very kind, much like Mrs. Crowley, and made it her mission to point out beauty in everybody. It was harder now, being away from that for about two years now. But I gave her my best smile and tried not to let out another shaky breath.

"You're going to be in the first grade today; I'm sure your mother has told you that, of course…" Mrs. Crowley continued on, taking my hand lightly and squeezing. "It's so nice to have you here, Ms. Isabella. I can't tell you how grateful we are for you."

I nodded, avoiding Mrs. Crowley's gaze.

"Let me show you to your classroom," She dropped my hand and walked out of the office. It was then that I noticed the two women on the other side of the office, one peering at me from behind a giant pink mug, and another woman with dark, long hair watching me with wide, almost hopeful eyes.

"Obviously we are a large school, so you do have quite a few students," Mrs. Crowley said with an apologetic tone. She pushed a heavy door to a classroom open, and I couldn't stop my mouth from falling open.

Almost thirty desks were in the room. Lined behind one another, in neat, organized rows they sat. They weren't the standard small desks with creaking chairs, either. I gazed in amazement at the cushioned chairs and wide, polished desks. They were brilliant, and I wondered where this school got its money to buy nice things from. I looked around the room with the same amazement I had noticed the desks with. Four large windows faced an enormous playground with grand trees, and beautiful sunlight imitating the window from my guest room in my mother's house streamed through. An extra large whiteboard displayed across the wall from the lined desks.

It was every teacher's dream.

"If you have any problems, there's a special student in your class that you can call upon for help. Her name is Taylor Weber, and she is the classroom Helper."

"Thank you," I spoke for the first time since arriving at The Academy. "When will the students be here?"

"Since class doesn't actually start until eight, they're checking in right now. We have teachers who are on a rotating schedule to do duty every morning to check in children. It is just a process to make sure that we have no missing students. I'm not sure if you are familiar with the system, or if you mother has told you…"

"No," I shook my head, feeling embarrassed for not ever asking my mother about her job. My stomach churned nervously at the thought of the children arriving soon. "I'm sorry."

"Well, they wear name tag stickers on their back, but they must check in each morning to receive their stickers. It also helps you, being a substitute, to see their names and information. You'll see what I'm talking about soon."

I nodded, taking another opportunity to glance around the spacious room. "Is this the entire first grade?"

"Heavens no!" Mrs. Crowley laughed loudly. Her laugh was throaty and surprisingly pleasing. I was beginning to like Mrs. Crowley. She was a nice lady. "Of course not. I do understand your surprise at the size of this classroom- you will have twenty eight students- most classrooms aren't this big, but we are a private school, and a lot of these children have parents who are paying for the highest education their money can buy, therefore we aren't as big as we'd like to be. We want to provide that education for them, but we have not had the best of luck with our teachers this year.

"We have two first grade teachers; the second classroom is right next door. They will be learning the same material- I have left a study plan for the day on your desk, you will find- and you may also ask their teacher for help if you need it. However, I understand that you have a degree in Elementary Education yourself, am I wrong?"

I shook my head. "I used to teach in Jackson, Mississippi. I lived in the city with- well, I taught at a large public school, and I should be able to follow the study plan you've left."

Mrs. Crowley watched me quietly for a few moments. Just when I started to shift my feet, though, she smiled warmly. "If you will follow me back to the main office, I will show you where to sign in."

I smiled in relief and followed her, taking the opportunity to glance around the huge school. I felt like I was almost walking through a castle. The walls held giant portraits of previous graduating classes, beautiful, fading portraits gazing down at the people walking through the halls. The floors were made of marble like the desk in the main office, and echoed with every step. Of course, the hallways were not empty, so the footsteps did not sound as they might have if it were. We passed an archway leading to another wing with lockers on each side of the hall.

"That hallway leads to the Middle School," Mrs. Crowley told me, waving her hand so that I would catch up to her long strides. For somebody so short and round, she sure did more fast. "And this door leads to the Teacher's Lounge. You may spend your breaks there, if you'd like. I guarantee there will always be fresh coffee, and if you're lucky, you may be able to snatch a donut for yourself…"

I glanced at the large door across from the men and women's bathrooms. The door was slightly ajar, and when I peeked inside, a man with golden curls sat with his feet up on a long table, a newspaper in his hands and a coffee cup steaming next to him. Before I could look further, though, we were rounding the corner that led back to the front of the school.

"My office is right here," Mrs. Crowley waved her hand at a wide door to the left of the main office doors. "So many doors, I know, it's quite confusing. I apologize, but you'll get it soon, dear… Ah, yes, here is the sign in book."

I signed my name neatly and checked the time, nearly tripping over myself when I realized it was exactly eight, and I would be late to greet my class.

I wondered where my reluctance to come back to teaching went, and when it had been replaced with eagerness to get back to the classroom. I still had an odd feeling when I finally scurried into my thankfully still-empty classroom and gazed at the white erase board, though.

I slowly walked around the room, taking in the organized bins of markers, crayons, extra pencils, and erasers. In the corner of the room was a large, colorful carper with bright squares on it. I wondered if the previous teacher had read to her class on that carpet, like I used to…

The classroom door that I had left ajar suddenly banged against the wall, and voices filled the room, and I jumped, momentarily frightened.

The voices belonged to a group of children, somehow smaller than I imagined, and haltering at the sight of me staying uneasily in the front of the room. I tried to give them a warming smile, but they whispered among themselves, their eyes watching me.

"H-hello," I stammered, "I'm Ms. Bella Swan, I'm going to hang out with you guys today."

A little boy with ruffled hair and a pink nose took a seat at a desk in the far corner of the room. I realized I knew none of their names. After he sat, his classmates followed his lead.

A little girl with long red hair and a lot of freckles raised her hand excitedly. "Yes?" I asked, smiling at her. This time it was a smile out of relief. I was so glad it wouldn't be awkward; if students were willing to talk and ask me questions already, maybe it wouldn't be so bad a day.

"Are you our new teacher?" She wondered out loud, causing the students around her to murmur. More kids were filing in the room, some hanging their backpacks on hooks at the back of the room, some unwrapping scarves from their necks, and some just standing there, watching me.

"No…" I replied, looking down at my shoes. I tucked my bangs behind my ear and looked up again, hopefully with an encouraging smile. "I'm your _substitute teacher_ , and you can call me Ms. Swan, if you'd like."

There were more tiny murmurs. I shuffled uneasily.

Just then, the little girl with black pigtails and the little navy skirt flounced into the room. The smile that washed over my face didn't have any hesitation.

"Hello," She said brightly, bounding up to me. "I'm Taylor Weber. I'm the classroom Helper!"

"I've heard," I grinned at her. It was impossible not to. She had flushed, chubby cheeks, probably from the chill outside, and wide, chocolate eyes. "And where do you sit?"

"Right there," She turned and pointed at a desk at the front of the room somewhat near the teacher's. "We usually start the day by copying down our homework, you know."

"Thank you," I told her kindly, gently placing my hand on her back and guiding her toward the desk she pointed to. By then there were no more empty desks, and I realized every student had been watching our exchange. My cheeks grew hot again, and I felt weird for being embarrassed at something like this.

I hurried over on the desk and looked for a planner, or something that may have the day's lesson plans on it.

The desk was wide and incredibly tidy. Four little jars lined the front of the desk filled with different desk supplies, but organized precisely. Everything at this school seemed to be organized.

A leather-bound book sat squarely in the middle of the desk, and I immediately recognized it as a planner. I flipped to the day and month and read in relief the day's plans.

The children were still murmuring amongst themselves, and some were still watching me curiously. I walked to the whiteboard and copied their homework down carefully, and before long there was the sounds of rustling paper as the students behind me copied down my words.

I watched them with my own curiosity after that. The little student Taylor was quickly becoming my favorite to watch. She held her hand incredibly steady as she copied down her homework, glancing back at the board with every word she wrote down. The ghost of a smile lingered on her lips, and if I watched her long enough I could almost make out the tiny words from the board she was muttering to herself.

The morning went fairly easily. It seemed like the black planning book was a miracle. It quickly took away my discomfort, and gave me something to go by. An agenda was printed in a woman's loopy handwriting along with instructions for the rest of the week. I was so relieved I could cry. I had no idea what I would have done if there wasn't some type of plan for the day. I hadn't made lesson plans in years.

We did Science and Reading first, which was fairly easy since all I had to do was write the page numbers on the board and instruct the children to read the stories in their textbooks. The kids did this without any problem; they didn't even have questions to ask me about the work. By the time I passed out worksheets for them to do based off of their reading, the first bell had rung and it was nearing time for a bathroom break.

The kids seemed to know this, too, because soon Taylor stood up and walked to the door, her classmates in line behind her. I saw this again as a relief. I kept it in mind to thank Mrs. Crowley graciously for appointing a classroom Helper.

It seemed like my class wasn't the only one going to some type of break. After leaving the room and following behind my leading class, I passed at least four other classes with teachers who regarded me curiously. One long line of what looked like second graders was lead by the same woman I had seen in the office with long, dark hair.

My children went into their respective bathrooms and I stopped outside near the woman who had just sent her class into the bathrooms also.

"Hello," She greeted with a warm smile. I smiled back, grateful for her welcome. "I'm Mrs. Angela Weber, the second grade teacher."

The name Weber flashed in my mind, and before I could ask, she continued. "I'm also Taylor Weber's mother."

It made enough sense. Taylor looked just like her mother. They both had glossy black hair, dark eyes, and the same nose. Her mother looked older than me, but only by a handful of years. She wore modest clothing and reminded me of one of those TV mothers that brought their kids to playdates.

"Hey," I said back, realizing that I had never answered her. "I'm Ms. Bella Swan. You can call me Bella, of course."

"You're Renee's daughter," Angela said, but it sounded more like a question. I nodded at her, encouraging her to go on. "You don't really look like her too much! Besides the mouth, I think."

I lifted a hand to my mouth. I had hear that before. My mother and I had the same jaw, chin, and lips.

"I guess my mother really does talk about me as much as she says she does," I replied. "Almost everybody here seems to stare."

"Oh, it may not be just because of Renee," Angela shook her head, but she still smiled kindly at me. I was beginning to feel an air of friendliness from her. I liked her already. "You're new, and that always gathers attention."

"Right."

My class was lining up behind Taylor before long against the wall that I stood near. I took this as my time to go, so I waved farewell to Angela.

"You should come to the Lounge for your breaks," She said with a sweet smile. "I think I have the same breaks as you do, and I'd love to get to know you better."

I nodded and we went back to the classroom. I really liked her, and I wanted to get to know her better, too.

The children were warming up to me, and it didn't take long before I needed to know their names. I tried to disguise my interest by walking around the room, weaving in and out of the aisles and looking at their left shoulders, where a sticker was stuck to their blouses and button-downs. Taylor's indeed had her name in bold print, with her mother's underneath, a cell phone number to reach her at, and an address. There was also an allergies section, which was left empty on thankfully most of their stickers.

The next break came fairly quickly. A woman with long, blonde hair and a pink baseball cap knocked on the door before pushing it open. She wore matching pink sweatpants and a giant grey hoodie, a whistle hanging from around her neck. She was absolutely stunning, and even though she only wore light makeup, I thought of an Ulta model when looking at her.

"Line up, guys! You're late for P.E.!" She snapped at the kids. I stood up quickly, looking at the agenda and realizing that they were, in fact, late.

"That's my fault," I apologized quickly, hurrying up to the front of the room. "I didn't see the time, we were working on Spelling."

She looked at me closely and without a word, even going as far to step out of the doorway and come further into the room to get a better look at me. Her whistle bumped against her large chest and she crossed her arms while she looked me over. I was intimidated and I'm not going to lie, somewhat frightened by this beautiful, terrifying woman.

Finally, and to my relief, she stuck her hand out to me. "I'm Coach Hale, the P.E. instructor and volleyball coach for the high school girls. I coach a little bit of softball."

She looked perfect for her job description. She looked athletic, and probably played the sports she coached when she was in high school. I was still intimidated by her, but knowing her name helped a tad bit with it.

"Ms. Bella Swan," I shook her hand. Her hand was firm, cool, and manicured. She wore a wedding ring with a big diamond, and an engagement ring underneath with an even bigger stone. "You can call me Bella," I added.

"Bella," Coach Hale said my name carefully, like she was testing it out. She looked thoughtful for a moment before something else brushed across her features, and she finally smiled. It was a nice smile, and of course she had great teach. "Right. Well, we're already late. I'm one of the Specials teachers, so I'll bring back the kids when I'm done with them in an hour. Normally the class would last an hour and a half, but we're a little late today."

She didn't look nearly as frightening anymore, because her smile stayed in place. Coach Hale still looked at me with interest, but hurried the children out of the room. Soon I was standing alone in the doorway.

A couple of minutes later, I remembered that Angela had asked me to meet her in the Lounge during my breaks. I closed the door behind me and followed the long hallway, trying to remember which turns Mrs. Crowley had lead me down when she had showed me around earlier.

The Lounge was easier than I thought to find. The door was ajar again, and I was finding something else to be relieved about. My entire day felt like I was constantly holding my breath, and randomly finding relief points. It was uncomfortable.

The room was huge, which I was starting to expect of all the rooms in this giant school. It had a long table in the bent row the room and what looked like comfortable rolling chairs surrounding it. A handful of teachers sat around the table chatting, not noticing when I walked in. A couch sat off to the side, and two men lounged. A TV was framed in the corner of the room but it was on mute as the news flickered across the screen.

I noticed Angela immediately. She held a cup of coffee and was telling another woman some wild story about one of her students. She looked up and caught my eye.

"Bella! Hello! I was wondering when you'd show up here." She gestured to a chair on the other side of her, and I gratefully scurried to it. All of the eyes in the room were on me again. "This is Ms. Bella Swan, she is taking over the first grade for now."

I noticed the same woman from the office this morning again, the one who had stood beside Angela with a pink mug. She held the same mug in her hands and narrowed her heavily lidded eyes at me. Her eyes were plain, and it looked like she was tired. She wore a lot of makeup, and had curly, dark hair. She sipped from her mug while she watched me.

Another woman smiled kindly at me. She gave her attention back to the magazine on her desk, though, not really engaging. Two other teachers reacted almost the same, one paying more attention to her iPad, and the other continuing her conversation with the first unknown teacher.

I appreciated them for this, oddly. I felt like I was the new kid and everybody was talking about me and trying to figure me out.

I guess they were right.

"This is Mrs. Lauren Mallory," Angela pointed to the woman with the hooded eyes. "She teaches one of the third grade classes."

"Hi," I said, hoping my voice didn't waver. I tried to sound friendly, but I felt intimidated by her. It wasn't the same intimidation that I had with Coach Hale, but this time it was full of unease. She glanced at me coldly and continued to sip on her pink mug.

Angela introduced the other two teachers, and pointed over to the men on the couch. "That's Coach Black,"

A man with short, black hair waved with a huge smile. The now expected wave of relief washed over me. Another friendly face made me more comfortable with the continued staring from Lauren Mallory.

The man wore gym shorts, tennis shoes, and a shirt that looked like it might be too small. It showed off a muscular chest and arms. Like Coach Hale, he wore a whistle.

"Hey," He waved. "Bella, right? Your mom calls you Izzy, though."

"Bella," I corrected him, not wanting him to call me by my mother's childhood nickname for me. "You've talked to my mother about me?"

"Your mother adores you," The man beside Coach Black stood up. He stretched, a small strip of his stomach showing. He had golden blonde hair, long curls, and a smooth face with light facial hair. He walked over and shook my hand with a lopsided smile. His hands were warm and he had long fingers. I realized he was the same man I had seen in the Lounge earlier, drinking coffee and reading a newspaper. "I'm Jasper Whitlock, the Middle School History teacher."

"Of course, there's a separate Lounge for the Middle School teachers," Coach Black also walked over and took a seat across from me, next to Lauren Mallory. "Mr. Whitlock likes this one, for some reason. Don't mind him."

"I like the company of this Lounge better," Jasper shrugged. He smiled his lopsided smile at me again. "The other teachers don't really talk much. Besides, y'all have donuts."

He had a slight southern accent, and stood out, even though we were in Mississippi and everybody around here had some kind of accent. His was more Texan, though. He took a seat on the other side of Lauren Mallory, and she seemed to be delighted by this as she shot me a smirk. I wondered what that was about briefly before being distracted by Coach Black.

"Well, I'm the High School football coach, but I don't really teach a class. Sometimes I substitute, but mostly I go over film and write out plays." Coach Black sounded really proud of himself. It was obvious that deemed his job important, so I smiled at him. Some people enjoyed their sports, but I was never a huge fan in high school. I recalled going to a few football games, but never staying the entire time. I guess football was a big deal at The Academy.

"Yes, he's very talented. Our team has won the championship for the past four years," Lauren Mallory cooed, putting her mug down to caress his arm. He didn't push her hand away, and I wondered if the two were involved. Lauren Mallory wore a ring, though, so I decided that they must not be, because Coach Black didn't have a matching one.

Coach Black's chest puffed out in pride, but Jasper rolled his eyes and leaned forward in his chair. "So, you taught in Jackson, Mississippi?" I must have looked at him with a confused expression, because he continued hurriedly, "I overheard you when you were talking to Mrs. Crowley in the hall. I went to college near Jackson- I attended Mississippi College."

I nodded, "I went to Mississippi College."

I thought of the college I went to. It was where I had made friends, learned everything I knew about Elementary Education, and where I had met who I thought was the love of my life. I remembered the beautiful campus, the large quad, and the warm library. I shivered at the thought, though, and my hands went back to their place around my abdomen.

"Really? Well, we wouldn't have been there at the same time," Jasper said sheepishly. "I'm a bit older than you."

I nodded. Though Jasper wasn't at all old, it was obvious that he was in his thirties. I was just a little past my mid-twenties, which meant that he probably had a good nine years ahead of me, if he was thirty-five like I guessed. My gaze shifted to Lauren Mallory, who was still glaring in my direction.

"Oh!" I had glanced at the clock to avoid her gaze when I noticed the time. I would be late to meet my class if I didn't leave then. "I've got to go! Coach Hale will be back with the kids."

"Coach Hale," Lauren snorted, speaking for the first time. Her voice was scratchy and rough, matching almost perfectly with her appearance. "She's married now, why doesn't she go by 'Coach Cullen'?"

Jasper shrugged as I stood up. "I've caught the kids a number of times referring to her as 'Coach Hell'. Maybe she doesn't want the fear to die in their little hearts." He laughed and strode towards the door.

I followed, eager to get back to my kids so that they weren't left waiting for me.

"It was nice to meet you, Bella," He said kindly, holding the Lounge door open for me. "Believe it or not I have quite a few breaks. The demand for a history class isn't that great over there…maybe I'll see you around here more often."

I wasn't sure if there was a hint of flirt in Jasper's tone, but before I could analyze it, there was a small squeak from down the hallway. A young girl, dressed in a glittering pencil skirt, fashionable boot heels, and what looked like an expensive dress top stopped in her tracks, her wide eyes resembling a dear in the headlights. Her face was beautiful, made up with expensive makeup I would never be able to pull off. Her skin was porcelain, which made her short, black hair stand out against her beautiful skin.

"Oh, hello," Jasper said to her. I thought I heard a sprinkle of nervousness in his tone. "You're out of class early."

Her expression was still one of surprise. Her eyes flitted from Jasper to me, and then back again, over and over, before finally resting on Jasper.

"Yes, well, bathroom break, you know… I'm just going to the bathroom. I'm not out of class early. That wouldn't be on schedule, and you know how Dr. Cullen likes to follow his schedules!" She babbled. Jasper and I drew nearer, and he stopped in front of the girl. From their exchange, I guessed that she was a student. She was beautiful, though, and her style was way better than I would ever be able to resemble. She was tiny, and pixie-like.

"You're a student? What grade are you in?" I blurted, wondering out loud how somebody in their teens could perfect everything about themselves, including her stance, posture, style, and pretty much everything about her appearance.

Her eyes shot to mine, glaring. She was shorter than me, but not by much with her heeled boots on. She crossed her arms over her chest and snarled. "Kindergarten, actually."

I realized my mistake instantly. My face felt really hot, more hot than I had felt in days. My ears were flaming, and I felt like the cardigan I wore over the thin t-shirt dress was going to burn up. My eyes widened, and I opened my mouth to apologize to her.

She apparently wasn't a student at all, but the Kindergarten teacher.

She looked like she was going to strangle me, or at least flip me off. She seemed to think better of it, though, and shot me one more glare before making a wide path around Jasper and stalking off towards the bathrooms.

Jasper looked at me, his own face red, and raised his eyebrows. "Yes, um," he coughed, "That was Ms. Alice Brandon. She, as you now know, teaches Kindergarten…"

"Oh, my God," I whispered, burying my face in my hands. "I can't believe I-,"

Jasper rushed to interrupt me, "No, no, Bella, it's okay. Really, you aren't the first to make that mistake. I'm not so sure that she's gotten over when I stopped her in the hall and tried to give her a detention for being in the elementary building when she belonged in the high school."

"Oh, my God," I repeated, shaking my head. I still felt embarrassed and my ears were still really hot.

"She'll get over it," Jasper said, taking my wrist and pulling it away from my face. "Bella, don't worry about it."

I realized how close I was standing to Jasper then. My stomach dipped uncomfortably, and I took my arm back from him, my forehead creasing.

"I-I've got to go meet my class. I'm probably incredibly late now."

Jasper's expression fell from his face. He pursed his lips. "Of course," He waved his hand towards the hallway leading to my classroom. "I'll see you around."

"Yeah…" I muttered, taking off towards my classroom.


	3. Chapter 3

_The Academy needs a new first grade teacher, and fast. After the previous teacher was sacked, Dr. Edward Cullen desperately hires Ms. Bella Swan as a substitute until further notice. Always knowing Bella as simply "Renee's daughter," the first time Edward lays eyes on Bella, he's dumbstruck. She's not the young girl who has always been described to him by her adoring mother, but rather a beautiful young lady with what seems like a troubling past. Bella is attracted to everything about Edward Cullen, but everything tells her this is a bad idea: her past, her newly beloved job, and even her new teacher friends. Will Bella overcome these obstacles or will she let them convince her that Edward Cullen is simply not worth it?_

 **As usual I don't own Stephanie Meyer's characters. You know the drill.**

Chapter 3

My face still burned when I thought about what I had said to Ms. Brandon throughout the day. I didn't have many opportunities to think about it, though, since I had an entire hour and a half of class to instruct before I had a chance to take a break with the class at lunch.

The lunch room was big- no surprise there- and was filled with long cafeteria tables. My large class took up two tables, where Taylor Weber led them to sit. Most of them brought their lunch in bright lunch boxes, pulling out sandwiches, chips, apple slices, juice boxes, or just the usual lunch pieces you'd expect from a class of first graders. Some of the kids bought lunch from the lunch line, an thankfully they were already prepared for the children to eat, so all I had to do was monitor them.

To my absolute horror, Ms. Brandon was in the lunch room with her class of Kindergarteners the same time as me. She glared at me from her Kindergarten table a few rows down, angrily yanking open a fruit cup for a begging little boy with chubby fingers and short legs. Juice spilled down the front of her blouse and her pale face turned red. I looked away, not wanting to add any ammunition to her fire of hatred towards me.

"Izzy! We have lunch at the same time!"

I had been feeling relief the entire day at random saving points, but right then I had never felt better. I whipped around to see my mom holding a tray of food, grinning wildly at me, still wearing her art smock from class.

"Mom!" I said, scooting down the bench so that she could sit by me. "Oh, thank goodness! I haven't seen you all day."

She winked and slid a plate of pizza over to me along with a bottle of water. "How has your day been?"

"Long," I muttered, taking a big sip from the water bottle. Mom bit into her own pizza slice thoughtfully, watching me and waiting. "Okay, it hasn't been as bad as I thought, but I keep feeling like I'm messing up."

"Hmm?" She hummed, chewing thoughtfully on her pizza slice.

"Well, I made my class late to P.E. because I wasn't watching the time, I almost got lost when I was looking for the Lounge, I completely skipped the bathroom break earlier my kids were supposed to have, and then I accused Ms. Brandon of being a student and she keeps sending me looks that would scare the devil back into hell." I whispered, feeling my face grow warm at the thought of Alice again. "I keep screwing up."

"You just don't know the schedule yet," Mom dabbed at her lips with a napkin. "It doesn't matter if you get a little off schedule, Dr. Cullen isn't even here to check in on you."

"Who is this Dr. Cullen that everybody keeps referring to?" I asked, exasperated. "I haven't even met him, but apparently he's keen on following schedules, and doesn't like it when somebody runs a little behind."

"He's just really organized," Mom shrugged. She had dribbled a little bit of water onto her art smock and she dabbed at it with a napkin. "He's the headmaster. You know who I'm talking about, I've told you about him. Have you met anybody here besides your students? Please don't tell me Alice Brandon has kept you away from the Lounge."

"You only told me that he would be back Friday," I pointed out, "And besides, there's so many new faces and names that it is hard for me to keep track. I met a nice man named Jasper Whitlock today."

"Oh, Jasper," Mom looked delighted, "He is a very kind boy."

"I wouldn't say 'boy,' he isn't that young." I shook my head, "The man has to be at least thirty-five."

"Well, darling, to me that is still young. I'm nearing fifty-three, you know."

"Your age isn't the point," I shook my head. "I'm just trying to say that I've met a friend, I think. Oh, yeah, and Angela Weber! She's nice."

"Yes, Mrs. Weber is very kind…" Mom trailed off, keeping her eye on Taylor Weber, Angela's daughter. Taylor sat a few seats down, chatting loudly and giggling with her friends. "She's got a lot of children. Her middle child, a son in the fifth grade, always breaks my crayons on purpose…"

I raised my eyebrows. "I used to do that."

"I remember," Mom shook her head. "Jasper is sweet, though. You know, thirty-five isn't a bad age, Izzy."

"Mom," I felt my face grow hot again. "I'm not interested in Jasper."

"Oh," She frowned, a dazed look upon her face. She always seemed to look dazed, like she was off in her own world, but this time it was even more starry, like she was lost in thought. "Well, he certainly is a sweetheart. Maybe you should give it a chance."

I didn't reply. Jasper wasn't my type, and though he did seem like he had flirted with me earlier, I still felt like he wasn't sure about it, like I was. I thought about it for a bit in silence before finally deciding Jasper Whitlock wouldn't be somebody I was interested in dating.

The rest of the day seemed to fly by incredibly fast, despite the slow morning. The kids went to another special, music, but I stayed in the classroom instead of visiting the Lounge. I didn't want another encounter with Ms. Brandon, and frankly, I didn't wish to see Lauren Mallory, either. Something about her felt unusual to me.

By the end of the day, I welcomed the last bell and sat slumped against the desk chair with my head laid on my arms. The kids packed up around me, putting their books into their bags and chatting amongst themselves about the upcoming football game the next day. One boy proclaimed to his friends that he was neighbors with the quarterback, and I heard Taylor Weber tell the boy that her oldest brother was best friends with the quarterback. Obviously the quarterback was quite popular with the kids.

I heard the door open and I looked up quickly. Mrs. Crowley's head poked in, smiling enthusiastically. "Ms. Swan! Was it a good day?"

"Yes," I sat up straight, hoping she hadn't seen me slumped over. I pushed my hair away from my face and stood up. "It wasn't bad at all. The kids are really well behaved."

Taylor smile proudly and adjusted her backpack on her shoulders. The kids began to form a line behind her.

"I'm glad," Mrs. Crowley said kindly. "I'll take the kids to the pick up line if you'd like. You may go sign out in the office and go."

"Thank you," I said, tidying the desk up after myself. I pushed the desk chair in and made my way to the door.

"Oh, and Ms. Swan?" Mrs. Crowley's voice was hopeful as I slipped past her into the hallway.

"Yes?"

"Would you mind coming back tomorrow? I haven't found another substitute, and last time Coach Black kept the class, there were phone calls from parents pertaining to something about playing flag football all day…"

I thought about it. Did I really want to come back? I thought about what I would do if I was back at my mom's house right then. Would I still be in bed? Would I still be checking my iPhone every now and then to see if I had a missed text message, or a voicemail? I cringed.

"Yes." I told her before I really registered what I was saying. I surprised myself; I hadn't exactly planned on agreeing, but the thought of spending another day waiting on a phone call from _him_ wasn't appealing. "I can, if you'd like."

"Brilliant!" Mrs. Crowley beamed, "We'd love to have you back tomorrow, Ms. Swan! Have a great afternoon!"

~oOo~

The next day was much like the previous one. My mother woke me by pulling the curtains, letting the sunshine spill into the room. I rolled over groaning, and spotted my mother wearing her usual "work clothes." They consisted of a long skirt that swam around her ankles, sandals, and her art smock. She held her purse under her arm and her keys in her hand.

"I woke you up early again," My mom said apologetically, but she didn't look sorry. I sat up and rubbed at my eyes. "You still want to go in today, right?"

I slipped out of bed without a word. Truthfully, I didn't _want_ to go in, but the idea of staying home after having an entire day out was more appealing than it was the day before. In fact, I looked forward to not being shut up in the room again for the day. I made my way to the closet and pulled out another dress, this one a wrap-around. I picked a sweater to go over it, knowing that the huge halls would be chilly like they were the day before.

I heard my mom make a little noise, a noise I probably wasn't supposed to hear. It was a tiny sigh, one I probably wouldn't have heard if I hadn't been so quiet. It was a happy sigh, though, almost like she was relived.

The drive to the school wasn't as stressful as the day before, either. This time I knew what to expect, and when I saw the crossing guard allowing children to pass, I looked eagerly for little Taylor Weber. She bounced alongside her brother, probably the middle one who broke crayons, and I noticed another child with dark hair not far behind them. Probably one of the Weber children, for he had the same tan skin, dark hair, and dark eyes.

Like the day before, we were greeted by Mrs. Crowley in the office. She wore a bright orange cardigan today, and a yellow blouse with the same yellow slippers and tan slacks. I grimaced at the Easter egg outfit once more, but smiled politely when she patted my arm as I passed.

This time I didn't need directions to my classroom. I slowed down when I came across the Lounge, and saw, just as I expected, Jasper Whitlock in the same position as the day before. He had his feet kicked up, newspaper in hand, and a coffee cup steaming next to him. I didn't stop to say hello.

The day was much easier, considering I had an idea of how it was supposed to go. I followed the carefully written out agenda, and the kids seemed a little more at ease with me being there.

When the bathroom break came around, I felt easier about letting Taylor lead the class while I followed. At least this time I knew where we were going, and what to expect.

Angela wasn't at her spot near the wall, but her class was there, so I guessed she was in the restroom. I stood by the wall and waited.

Like the day before, other classes were in the hall. There were at least four, and I struggled to keep my children apart from the others. Taylor was good about picking apart my children from the rest, but I was pretty bad at it. They all looked the same to me, especially in matching uniforms.

"Taylor," I whispered, "Do you think I could have a quick bathroom break? Will you take the class back to the room?"

"Yes, ma'am," She replied, as if this was perfectly normal. I was grateful that it was, because the day before I had waited until they went to their specials before going.

When I neared the girls' bathroom, though, I heard a sneer. I looked up to see Lauren Mallory holding the hand of a third grader from her class.

"You're really going to use that bathroom?" She asked, tilting her head. Her eyes were just as hooded as the day before.

I faltered. "Yes? Is there something wrong with it?"

"Well, usually teachers use the private bathrooms," Lauren shrugged. She tilted her head to a set of doors with a sign that said "private" above them. "The toilets aren't so short, you know?"

It made enough sense. What adult wanted to squat to use the bathroom? I nodded and looked towards the doors that said "private."

"And those are the teachers' bathrooms?" I asked pointing to the double doors.

"Well, yeah, isn't that what I just said?" Lauren looked annoyed. She tugged on the third grader's hand that she was holding, directing her attention away from me. "Come on, either go in the bathroom or go get back in line…"

I walked away from the kids' restrooms and pushed one of the doors labeled "private" open. They stuck, so I had to lean into it. I wiggled the handle, using the flat of my palm to push.

I hadn't registered my shock before I was falling through the door, and the impact of my bottom landing on the hard floor was all I felt.

I groaned and looked around.

My first thought was that this was _not_ a bathroom. I rubbed my hip, scowling up at the walls. They were grey, and there were at least a dozen framed portraits of men around the room looking down on me. I had landed between the door and what looked like the back of a couch. I stood shakily, still rubbing my hip.

I almost peed myself when I looked up and stared into the face of the most beautiful man I had ever seen.

He looked especially surprised to see me, and even more surprised to hear the cuss word I let slip upon making eye contact with him. He sat behind an enormous desk, one probably composed of three pushed together, and held a pen in his long, pale fingers. His beautifully sculpted mouth hung wide open. His eyebrows were raised beneath a complete mess of bronze hair. I raised my own eyebrows back at him.

"Well, this is not the bathroom," I muttered, dropping my hand from my probably bruised hip.

The beautiful man's mouth closed slightly, but only enough to where his lips were just parted. He made a noise that sounded like he was unsure of what to say. "Uh-,"

"I thought this was the bathroom," I felt my face go up in flames. I was a complete loser. Obviously this wasn't the bathroom. There were portraits of men lining the walls, for crying out loud! And what bathroom had an enormous desk in it, a couch, and not to mention a man who could easily be a male model gaping at me.

He seemed to regain his composure quicker than I did, however. "Certainly this is _not_ a bathroom!"

"Well, I see that now," I said, moving from behind the couch that had blocked the door.

"Who are you, anyway?" His facial features were sharp, and his jaw was set. He looked a mixture between amused and irritated. His green eyes were fierce and set on me.

"The substitute teacher for the first grade," I answered him. For some reason, I felt really defensive. It wasn't my fault that I had landed myself right in the middle of somebody's office! It was only my second day here in this place! "And who are you?"

I could tell it was the wrong thing to say. Just like yesterday, when I hadn't thought before speaking, I had blurted out what I was thinking, and obviously it had offended the man. His jaw clenched tightly and his eyebrows furrowed. Slowly, one rose, and his lips pursed. He stood up and glowered at me.

"I'm Dr. Edward Cullen, the headmaster here."

I thought I really had peed my pants then.

He was frightening, and I may have even whimpered slightly. If I had boots, I'd be quivering in them.

"I was told this was the bathroom. I'm sorry," I apologized. Dr. Edward Cullen eyed me, not speaking. He seemed to be thinking, and I was both too frozen to interrupt, and too frozen to run away.

Not that I'd get very far. I only knew how to navigate the one hall that my classroom was on. He knew his was around the entire school.

"Where are your students, Ms. Swan? Certainly they are not at a special right now? It is too early in the morning for them to be anywhere but their desks."

 _Shit._

"Right," I said, easing back towards the door. I placed my hand on the door I had fallen through. "I needed a restroom break, and I was told the doors labeled 'private' were the teachers' bathrooms-,"

"You were told?" Dr. Cullen interrupted me. His hands slid from where they were crossed across his chest to the pockets of his grey suit pants. "Who told you this was the bathroom, Ms. Swan?"

"Mrs. Lauren Mallory," I said, realizing that she had played me. I narrowed my eyes. "It won't happen again… sir."

He seemed to be lost in thought again, and I took this opportunity to reach for the door handle. "Look, I'll just get back to my class-,"

"When does your class go to their first special?" He asked me, once again making eye contact. He shifted his weight onto his other leg and somehow made it look like an act of God. I could've drooled.

 _Snap out of it, Bella! This guy is serious business and you're seriously insane._

"They go to art today," I said, "At ten."

"That won't do," He mused, biting his lip in thought. "I'd like for you to come by my office this afternoon, after the last bell. I'll have Mrs. Crowley come escort your class to the pick up line so that you can meet me here."

I nodded, dumbstruck.

 _Well, great, you're going to be fired. Way to go, Bella._

I started towards the door once more, and Dr. Cullen spoke up again. "If you'll use the entrance door, next time, that would be excellent," His voice called after me. I stepped out and closed the door tightly behind me, my face back in flames.

~oOo~

"God, it was so embarrassing," I muttered to Angela. We sat in the Lounge, and I chewed on a donut that had been on a plate on the center of the table. Angela picked away at the pink sprinkles on her frosted donut and listened to me tell the story of what had happened earlier that day. "And nobody bothered to tell me that Dr. Cullen is…I thought he was an old man! I never thought-,"

"That he was the real-life version of the Greek god, Apollo? Yeah, well, surprise." She said. "It comes as a shock to everybody around here. Nobody expects him to be so…"

"Young?" I said. He looked like he was freaking thirty two! He was in great shape, too; the man was tall, lean, and from what I could tell, he was pretty muscular.

Apparently not as muscular as Coach Black, who was sitting across from me in the same chair as the day before. He flexed his muscles beneath his too-small shirt and pretended to scratch his neck so that I had a full view of his arms. It was obvious he was trying to show off that he was "bigger" than Edward Cullen.

Which, I guess, Jacob Black was. He had thicker arms, and though he had a more puffed out, rounded chest, it was hardly fair to compare him to Edward Cullen. Edward had big enough arms, from what I could tell of him in that suit, and the body of an athlete. Jacob had the body of a wrestler.

 _There's a difference._

Jasper Whitlock, on the other hand, found this amusing. Though he sent a disappointing look at Angela when she compared him to a Greek god, his lopsided grin surfaced again when Jacob tried to show off his already-obvious build. Lauren Mallory sat seething on the far end of the table.

Unlike the day before, she was not sitting between the two men in the Lounge. She had not even been offered a seat at the table- as soon as I had walked into the room and moaned about how my day was already going awfully, the men had moved to the chairs as quickly as they could, and Angela offered me the last donut on the plate, scooting her chair closer to me so that she could get full details.

The two teachers from the day before were absent, but Angela made it clear that Lauren was not invited to sit in their seats when she pushed the two rolling chairs away from our newly formed circle.

"Are you talking about the little spill you had earlier?" Lauren Mallory raised her voice so that she could be heard clearly. She had just arrived, right at the end of my story, and smirked very obviously. "Where you mistook the headmaster's office for a bathroom?"

The way she made it sound like I had done it all on my own infuriated me. The door to the lounge opened and Ms. Brandon slipped in. She looked around and took a seat at the end of the table, near Lauren.

"Yeah, you would think that was funny," I snapped at Lauren. Ms. Brandon raised her eyebrows. She hadn't known what she would be walking into. "I fell right on my butt in front of him!"

"Well, that's Dr. Edward Cullen. He's gorgeous, of course, but don't waste your time. He doesn't date… employees. Apparently none of the girls here are good looking enough for him." Lauren said, rolling her eyes.

"That's not true!" Angela proclaimed, her voice rising to be heard. "He's had to file sexual harassment before on an old teacher… the one you're filling in for."

All the eyes in the room turned back to me. I hadn't heard this before.

"Really?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. Ms. Brandon nodded.

"She apparently did something really bad. We have no idea what yet."

"We're taking bets," Jacob wiggled his eyebrows. "I personally think she waited naked for him in his office."

"I bet she left him dirty photographs," Angela giggled.

"Oh, hush," Jasper scolded, "None of us know what happened. If we gossip about it, it's just going to start rumors."

"Good point," Ms. Brandon nodded again at Jasper. "It isn't a great idea to go spreading stuff about our boss."

"Well, Victoria will probably be back, anyway," Lauren shrugged, looking right at me. "Everybody knows the reason why Dr. Cullen was mad was because he liked her and he knew she had a husband, so he couldn't be with her. Next thing you know, he's claiming sexual harassment and she's being taken out of the school by the Academy Lawyer."

"That's not true, either," Angela snorted. "You don't know anything, obviously."

Lauren rolled her eyes at Angela. "What part isn't true?"

"The whole thing," She retorted. "He didn't like her! He's her boss!"

"They used to date in high school," Jacob shrugged. "I found it in an old yearbook."

"So what if they dated," Jasper said, "Obviously they broke up because she got married and he hired her years later to work in the school. I think that if he fired her because he couldn't be with her, he never would have hired her."

"Which means maybe it was the other way around," Jacob said, "She had a thing for him, and he didn't think it was appropriate."

Everybody looked at Ms. Brandon for confirmation. Even Jasper raised his eyebrows at her.

Apparently Ms. Brandon knew every bit of gossip at the school, because she sighed and buried her face in her hands. "Even if that was true, which I'm not saying it is and I'm not saying it isn't, he would have to have some sort of proof that she was behaving inappropriately."

"Nudes!" Angela gasped with an air of excitement. Jacob muttered his agreement.

"I didn't say that," Ms. Brandon argued. "I said-,"

"Yeah, we heard you," Lauren said. She stood up and walked to the door, "Victoria will be back, just wait. I wouldn't get too comfortable, Bella Swan. She's coming back for her job once she sues for wrongful termination."

The room was quiet after that. Lauren left with a slam of the Lounge door, leaving us in silence.

"She wouldn't really-," Jacob broke the quiet shield, his voice just above a whisper.

"Nah," Jasper shook his head. "I doubt it. There's no way she could win that case. Jenks is the Academy's lawyer, and he's _good_. He's also really good friends with Dr. Cullen."

I found myself hoping that whoever this Victoria lady was, that she wouldn't be able to come back. It sounded like she wasn't very popular with the other teachers.

"So Dr. Cullen isn't dateable?" I asked, looking around the room. I realized what it sounded like I was asking, though, and quickly added, "I mean, he doesn't date his co-workers? It's a rule?"

"I mean he hasn't before, but I'm sure that even if he did, he wouldn't be able to after this sexual harassment suit is filed. I'm sure there will be a lot of new rules regarding relationships in the workplace." Ms. Brandon said carefully.

"Well, I've got to get to class," Angela said, standing up and tossing the remains of her donut she had been picking at in the trash. I stayed where I was, grateful that my kids had computers that day, which meant they would stay for an extra twenty minutes for their online accelerated reading tests.

Jasper stood and looked at me expectantly. Guessing that he expected me to walk with him like the day before, I shook my head. "My kids have computers," I said as an explanation. He nodded and disappeared into the hall. Jacob left, too, muttering something about mowing the football field.

Ms. Brandon and I sat there quietly. I stood up, feeling uncomfortable.

Though I had about twenty minutes until my class returned, I said, "I guess I'll just go set up for the students. We're watching a video for science."

She nodded and leaned forward on her elbows, her chin resting on her fist. "My Kindergarteners have art. They'll be a while cleaning up."

I nodded, even though she wasn't looking at me. "Hey, Ms. Brandon?"

She turned to me, her face looking disappointed and young. "Yeah?"

"I'm really sorry about yesterday. I was just mistaken because you look so-,"

"Young? Childish? Immature?" She closed her eyes, obviously bothered. I felt my heart beat faster anomy stomach dip.

"That's not what I meant."

"No, I know," She sighed, opening her eyes again. Her eyelashes were really thick. "I just get it a lot, is all. I shouldn't have been so mad at you for it."

"I shouldn't have said it," I shrugged, "I don't know what happened to my filter. The same thing happened today in Dr. Cullen's office… I swore in front of him. I think I'm in trouble for it, he asked me to see him after the last bell."

Ms. Brandon stared at me for a few moments. "I wouldn't be too worried about it. Between you and me, Bella, he's really nice. Don't believe everything you hear about him- he may seem like he's a hardcore man, and he may seem like he doesn't see anything but rules and regulations, but he's still a guy, you know? He still has feelings, and he still hears the rumors people spread. He's bound to understand you, and I doubt he's really mad at you for mistaking an office for a bathroom. I mean, it's your second day here."

I smiled at her. "Thank you, Ms. Brandon."

"Call me Alice," She shrugged, "Not everybody around here makes you call them by their 'teacher name.'"

I left the Lounge feeling really good. I had made up with Alice, and I understood her a little better after that. It felt much better to talk to her, and to learn a little more about Edward Cullen. I wasn't so much frightened of the meeting anymore.

 **Let me know what you think please! I'm just kind of going off of what I already have in my mind, but I'd love your suggestions/comments.**

 **PEM**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

After the last bell rang, I found myself outside of Dr. Cullen's office. My stomach dipped nervously and I wrapped my arms around myself. I wondered what he would say to me.

I knocked on the door, uncertain about whether to enter on my own or not. I was pretty sure I went to the right door; I chose the door that he had pointed out earlier that day, the one I didn't crash through.

I heard a muffled "Come in," from the other side and I pushed the heavy door open.

A man wearing an expensive-looking suit sat on the couch that I had seen earlier. Two chairs had been brought in and were placed behind the giant desk. I made my way inside, not sure if I was supposed to have a seat or stay standing.

The man in the suit stood and stretched, raising his arms above his head and yawning. He was attractive, but being in the same room as Dr. Cullen, he didn't stand out as much.

"Hello," He stuck his hand out to me, striding across the room to shake my hand. He had a firm grip, a glittering wedding band, and a radiant smile. His short, greying hair made me question his age, but it was obvious that he was young, because his face held no wrinkles. "The new substitute, I suppose? I've heard word that you're rather talented with the children."

"How so?" I asked, feeling warmth spread across my cheeks. "I've only followed the lesson plans."

"That's more than the previous teacher ever did," The man barked out a laugh. He turned to Dr. Cullen, still chucking. "I'll see you at the next board meeting, then, Edward."

"Of course," Dr. Cullen nodded, his hands sliding into the pockets of his grey suit. He slid into the same posture he had held earlier with me, looking relaxed and at ease, though he did not smile. "I'll see you around, Jenks. Say hello to Michelle for me,"

"Will do," The man called Jenks said, slipping his hands into the handle of his briefcase. He left the office with a parting wave and a smirk in my direction.

After the door closed with a sounding shut, Dr. Cullen gestured to one of the arm chairs across from his desk. "Have a seat, Ms. Swan,"

I took the seat to the left of his desk, sinking into the comfortable memory foam. The chair seemed to eat me up, and though it was made of an expensive-looking red leather, it wasn't rough or hard, but cool and smooth. I settled easily and tried to ignore the uncomfortable dip in my stomach. I was nervous, but I couldn't figure out what I had to be nervous about, other than not having an explanation for this meeting with Dr. Cullen.

"So, Isabella, is it?" He said, walking around his giant desk to lean on the expansive desktop. He looked at me curiously.

I could've snorted at him. Obviously the man knew what my name was already. Why was he starting with small talk? I played along, though, eager to get to the point. My nerves were already shot over this little meeting. "I prefer to go by 'Bella'," I shrugged, "The students call me Ms. Swan."

"As I'd expect them to," He replied playfully. I felt a spark of interest flare. He was being playful? "Anyways, your file said 'Isabella,' but I have heard you referred to as many other names."

"I have a file?" I blurted. I felt my face heat up again. I could've slapped my hands over my mouth; what was it about Dr. Cullen that made me speak exactly what was coming to my mind? Luckily I hadn't said anything inappropriate, but it might have come off as rude to him to blurt out. I wasn't so sure. Besides, Alice had the same effect on me, too. I wasn't sure what it was about these two people that made me want to say exactly what was on my mind.

"Of course you have a file," Dr. Cullen said with a hint of humor in his voice. He reached over his desk, twisting his midsection, and picking up a thin manilla folder with his long

fingertips. He licked his thumb, his brow furrowing, and opened it up. Inside was what looked like one simple sheet of paper. "It's not very big, but it is still here. That's what I wanted to meet with you about today."

I nodded, but he wasn't looking at me. He was scanning over the sheet, his eyes flicking from side to side. I shuffled in my seat, still watching the part between his lips that his tongue had flicked out of to lick his thumb.

Finally he looked up from my single sheet in my thin file, his green eyes making my face grow warm yet again. "I need more paperwork on you, obviously, but so far we've only got your address and your simple information."

He leaned over and passed the sheet of paper to me. It looked like my mother had given the school her address in place of mine, my number of the cell phone I had yet to start carrying around again- it was still tangled in my bedsheets in the guest room, my social security number, and my driver's license number. Other than that, there was nothing else on the page.

"What kind of information do you need?" I asked, "I don't have any proof of address on me or anything right now-,"

He shook his head, reaching his hand back behind him again. He snagged another sheet of paper and handed it to me. "I need you to fill out this payment form so I can pay you for the days you have worked for me,"

"Oh," I leaned forward again and took the extra page. It was clouded with black ink, loaded down with questions about bank accounts and things of that sort.

"I've heard that you have a degree in Elementary Education," Dr. Cullen said after a few moments of me reading over the page. He noticed I didn't have a pen and handed me one from an organizer on his desk. I started to sign the form and fill out my information while Dr. Cullen continued. "Bella, I hope you don't mind, but I've looked into you."

I didn't say anything back. He had used my first name instead of calling me Ms. Swan. I looked at him questioningly. He had looked into me? What did he mean? Obviously he had to ask around if he knew that I had a degree in Elementary Education. I wondered what else he knew about me.

He cleared his throat and continued, "You're great with the kids. I peeked in your classroom a few times today, and you were perfect with them. The kids pay attention to you, and I'd even go as far as to say that some even see you as a role model. Taylor Weber, the classroom Helper I assigned to that first grade classroom, speaks very highly of you. I've asked a couple of other children in your classroom how they felt about having you as a substitute teacher, and they're very excited to have you."

"I don't understand," I shook my head, "I only followed the lesson plans that were left on my desk."

Which wasn't a lie at all. I did follow the lesson plans… I just added in a few fun things of my own to do. I found it easier to hold the attention of children if I let them play games with their spelling words, and when I smiled and talked to them like they were "big kids" they were more successful and more eager to succeed. Kids liked to do things on their own, and when I allowed them to read their textbooks out loud together, instead of reading to them, they understood it better. It was simple developmental child psychology; their autonomy was a huge deal at their age right now. Every child wanted to be a "big kid;" they wanted to be treated like they could do things on their own, and that's what I had done.

"But you made the lessons come to life," Dr. Cullen shrugged. His green eyes were soft while he looked at me, and he wasn't holding his usual pursed lipped-frown. Dr. Edward Cullen was smiling, and he looked pleased with me. "Bella, I'd really like you to apply for the job."

I felt my stomach drop like I had just taken a deep dip in a roller coaster. My face was flaming hot, and my arms wrapped around my abdomen uncomfortably. "I-I don't know," I said uncertainly. "I thought I was just substituting."

Dr. Cullen's brows furrowed even more. He frowned, his smile melting away. He lifted a hand out of its resting place in his grey suit pant's pocket and rubbed his smooth jaw. He rubbed from his jaw to the back of his neck, eyeing me quietly, like he was thinking.

God, he was beautiful.

He was hopelessly, impossibly beautiful.

I shifted uneasily in my seat again. I felt so small when he looked at me, like I was a tiny animal and he was the larger, scarier prey. I wasn't exactly frightened by him, but the intimidation was real. I was sure that I liked him, because I mean, who couldn't? He was gorgeous. He was smart.

But that was all I knew about him.

Maybe it wasn't that I liked him, but rather I found him incredibly attractive… yeah, that was it…

Probably.

Dr. Cullen's pink tongue flicked out of his mouth and he licked his lips again. I watched him, feeling even warmer than before. I hated myself for blushing so easily.

"Would you be more interested in substituting until we found a replacement?" He finally asked.

"I think so," I nodded, "I mean, yeah, I wouldn't mind doing it."

He was quiet again, looking at me as if he was analyzing me. "May I ask you a personal question?"

I wasn't sure what he would ask, but I nodded anyways. I was sure that I would agree to anything this guy asked. It was a scary thought. I hadn't been this attracted to anybody since…

 _Well, since I was with James._

I felt my whole body freeze like ice. I had forced James out of my head since that day I had arrived at my mother's house two months ago. I hadn't said his name, I hadn't thought his name… this was the first time I was really allowing myself to think of him.

I had images flashing through my mind like one of those cliche movies; his wide smile, his fingers wrapped around his ever-present camera, his long legs, and his long, lanky torso. I could almost feel his legs tangled with mine, and if I thought about it hard enough, I could remember what it felt like to have his hand wrapped around mine, tugging me into the unknown landscapes that he loved to photograph so well…

"Bella?" Dr. Cullen's voice drew me away from my vision of my ex boyfriend. I shuddered and looked down at my arms.

Of course they were wrapped around my abdomen. It was becoming an impulse.

"I'm sorry," I said, reaching to the floor and picking up the papers that had apparently slid out of my hands. "Yes, you may ask me anything you'd like."

"Is there a reason why you don't want to commit to teaching?" Dr. Cullen asked. His eyes were soft, but they didn't necessarily look worried. He looked more disappointed, like he had expected me to accept his job offer.

The old me would have loved this school.

The old me would have accepted his offer in a heart beat.

The old me would have never denied such a great opportunity to teach…

But the old me also would've still had James.

I simply shrugged at Edward. How would I be able to explain to him that I wasn't going to agree to a contract of teaching at this school when I was still waiting for my ex-boyfriend to realize that he still loved me, and would be coming for me? I couldn't tell Dr. Cullen that, no matter how attracted to him I was.

I mean, sure, a large part of my heart knew that James wouldn't be back. He had made it very clear to me that he wouldn't be back… yet the smallest part of my heart still held out hope that he would come for me.

"I'm not sure what I want to do in the future." I finally replied to him. "Dr. Cullen, why did you want to be a headmaster?"

He looked thoughtful for only a few seconds. He seemed surprised that I had turned the tables on him and questioned him instead of elaborating on my answer. "I've always liked children. I've always liked education, too, but I never wanted to teach at a university. I guess I liked the idea of forming a school where kids can get the best education offered to them, and the only way of forming that school would be to be in charge of it. It took me years to get this school where I wanted it to be, you know."

I tried to remember what the appeal of teaching had been for me. I remember wanting to be a teacher because my mother was a teacher. It was a natural choice; I wanted to do what my mother had done her whole life. I wanted to work in a school building. I remember as a girl setting all my dolls and toys up for "school" while I passed out papers to them, "teaching" them in "class." When I had grown older, though, something else had stood out to me about kids.

I just couldn't remember what it was that I liked so much about educating them. I had lost the appeal of being in a classroom every day.

"I haven't taught in a classroom in two years," I told Dr. Cullen. "I took a break to travel abroad, and never really got back into it."

"Why not?"

"That's weird, I was just wondering about that myself. I can't remember why I wanted to teach so badly. The idea of having my own classroom doesn't appeal to me as much as it used to."

Dr. Cullen frowned at me. "Yet, here you are, substituting for one of my classrooms that I worked so hard to build academically."

I realized that I had offended him. "I'm really sorry. I don't think I explained myself correctly… I just don't think teaching is for me anymore."

"But you're so good at it," Dr. Cullen said, "You know how the kids' minds work! It's like you can read their minds or something."

"Well, I'm no mind reader, that's for sure," I grumbled. If I could read minds, I'd be able to understand exactly what he was thinking when he looked at me all quizzical. "I just don't think I'm ready for it."

"Alright, then," He sighed, "Can I at least count on you until the holidays? That's only… about three weeks."

I didn't have any plans for the next three weeks, that wasn't the problem. I wasn't even sure what I would be doing after Christmas. I knew I had to do something, though.

Maybe I would get a job in a coffee shop or something and be a barista.

I knew I didn't want to stay working around children. I didn't want to get too attached to them if I didn't plan on sticking around. It wasn't fair to me or to the kids.

"I can stay for three weeks," I nodded. It was more than I had ever agreed on with myself. I felt like I was doing something rebellious.

As a teenager I would have to go over my weekend plans with my mother. I'd have to tell her what I planned on doing, and if I strayed from what i had planned and what I had told her, she would get upset with me. I felt like I was screwing up the plan I had created with myself. It felt weird to not have to call anybody and let them know the change of plans.

Because after I had moved out of my mom's house, I had moved into James', and he was the one I had checked in with on everything.

Now I only had myself to answer to.

"Thank you," Dr. Cullen said. He still looked sort of disappointed, but his expression was hard to read. He was still looking right at me. I stared back at him, wondering how his eyes were so dang green. Were they his mother's, or his father's? "On your paperwork, you'll find questions that may be a little difficult to answer. I heard that you taught in Jackson, so you know how most of the paperwork goes for payment and things like that."

I looked down at the paperwork. I had finished most of it. "Can I bring this back next week?"

"I was going to complete the payroll this afternoon," Dr. Cullen frowned, "But if you'd rather wait, you can do that. I usually have everybody paid by today…"

"I don't have my purse with me here," I said, "I'll need my bank card and the routing numbers. What if I bring it back to the school before you leave?"

"I have a board meeting this afternoon, so you should be able to leave it on my desk. Just make sure you're in and out before 5- there's a home football game, and you don't want to get caught up in traffic… unless you're going to the game, of course?"

I shook my head no and stood up, gathering the two pieces of paper into my manilla envelope. "I don't think so."

"Have a good afternoon, Bella." Dr. Cullen said.

"You too, Dr. Cullen,"

~oOo~

It didn't take me long to finish my paperwork that afternoon. My mother had driven us home, but she took a nap as soon as we made it home. I wondered if she would let me use her car to return the paperwork to the school for Dr. Cullen.

My mom's house was small. It wasn't as small as the last house I lived in with James, but it was nice and decorated very nicely. My favorite room was the kitchen. It had warm brown tiles and low lighting, and the fridge was absolutely huge. I liked the different appliances and all the cool, up-to-date buttons on the microwave. It was a very neat place, and I couldn't wait to cook in it.

The old house was really simple, with one bedroom, a studio for James, and a living area. The kitchen was small and packed with food, but there was hardly any room to move around. It was crowded and it felt like home, but only because I had spent six years living in it. It was the same house that James had been renting when we met, me as a freshman and him as a junior in college. I found myself not missing the tiny house, and liking my mother's a whole lot more.

I picked up mom's car keys from the counter and took her car back to The Academy.

The school was pretty much deserted, besides the five or six cars in the parking lot. They were very nice cars, and among them was a shiny, silver Porsche. I guessed that these prestigious cars belonged to the board members.

The hallways were even more empty than the parking lot. My footsteps echoed when I walked, even more soundly than normal. The main office was the only light on in the whole school.

Dr. Cullen's door was closed, but since he had told me to come in anytime before five, I entered without knocking. It was only four, anyway.

He wasn't in there, like I expected. I made my way behind his desk to put my folder right in the middle, where he would see it.

The room seemed to have a totally different point of view from behind the desk. The furniture was the same, of course, and nothing was different physically. I had the feeling that I was in charge or something, though. Nothing was on the desk besides an organizer holding smart-looking pens and pencils, an oddly shaped statue engraved "Dr. Edward Cullen" on the stone front. A small golden football was being used as a paperweight on top of a stack of Post-It notes, and a desk calendar was placed in the middle of the desk to my left. The entire desk was shaped like three desks put together to make a large U.

Curiously, I took a seat in the desk chair. It was large and the back of it was tall. It was made of a dark, handsome leather. When I sank into it, I felt like I was sitting taller, and I felt important.

I also felt kind of silly.

I kicked off of the ground, making the chair roll. I slowly rolled back and forth, swaying in the giant chair. It was really easy to spin in. I spun around once, and it glided easily. I spun around again, feeling weightless. I spun faster, feeling my hair fly behind me.

I giggled, feeling like a little girl. It was fun, and it was a relief from all the stress I had been feeling lately.

Just then, though, the chair spun too fast and hit the corner of the enormous desk, toppling over something on one of the edges with a loud crash. I jumped up, feeling dizzy, but more embarrassed than anything. My face was flaming, and I quickly hurried around the desk to pick up whatever it was that fell.

To my horror, it was the stone statue, and it was cracked down the middle.

And, to make things worse, the door burst open.

I felt like one of those movies again. I should've known that something like this would happen. Of course when I broke something the person who owned the actual "something" burst into the room.

"Bella, you scared me," He breathed, kneeling down to help me pick up pieces of the statue I had broken. "What did you do?"

"I'm so sorry," I said, scooping up shards into my hand, panicking. Would he be mad? Obviously the statue thing meant a lot to him, because he kept it on his desk. Oh, God, he was going to be upset with me… "I thought you were in your meeting and I knocked it over on accident-,"

"Hey, it's okay," Dr. Cullen said quickly, carefully taking my hands and brushing the shards into his own palm. My face was practically on fire, like usual, and my eyes were prickling with tears. My nose felt like it was being squeezed to death. I knew what was coming- I was going to cry.

Over a stupid freaking statue.

"No, Bella, don't cry, really-,"

"I-I didn't mean to break it," I said, sitting back on my heels and using my fingers kind of as a broom to sweep the smallest shards into my palm. Dr. Cullen looked alarmed at me as the tears overflew and poured down my face. "Oh, God, I promise I will r-replace it… um, well, I mean I g-guess I can't r-replace it if it's b-broken and it was s-special to you b-because it had y-your name on it… was it a trophy or s-something? Oh, God, I'm a m-monster, I'm so sorry!"

I was blubbering like an idiot.

And, of course, he was still gorgeous.

"Bella, hold on, wait," He said, trying really hard to pull my hand away from the shards I was piling into my hand. Dr. Cullen gave up and stood up, pulling me up with him. "Here, dump those in the trash can. I promise, it's okay, you didn't mean to."

I sniffled and poured the shards into the trashcan beside his desk. It was empty.

"I can't believe I broke your thingy," I said, gesturing to the larger pieces of the broken statue, "God, I suck. I feel like I can't do anything right."

It was way over-dramatic to say, and I knew it, but that didn't stop me from saying it. Dr. Cullen sighed and sat on the edge of the desk while I busied myself with pushing my hair back from my face and wiping at my tears.

"Why do you feel like you can't do anything right?" He asked quietly.

I laughed, though there wasn't really anything funny about what he asked at all. "Because I screwed up really bad, and ever since then I do almost everything wrong, you know? Half of the teachers here don't like me because I've offended them in some way, I've gotten on my mother's nerves to the point where she forced me to come work here because she was tired of having me in her house all day, I break everything I touch, my ex-boyfriend hates my guts… I can't do anything right."

I wasn't really sure why I was saying the things that I was saying. All I knew was that it was all coming out. I couldn't stop myself from blubbering about how I had messed everything up in my present life, and Dr. Cullen looked absolutely horrified. He didn't seem to know what to say back to me. He just sat there, alarmed, with his mouth open and his eyes wide in shock.

"And you're sitting there staring at me like I'm the first person ever to cry in front of you, which is probably true because you're absolutely gorgeous and what woman would ever want to have a freaking mental breakdown in front of you?" I blabbered, furiously swiping at my eyes. They were red and puffy, and my breathing was heavy, and I was still leaking tears. "And why the hell am I still crying?!"

"Whoa, whoa, slow down," Dr. Cullen seemed to finally realize he was just sitting there staring at me, because he leapt forward and wrapped his arms around me.

It was the weirdest thing ever.

I was sitting here bawling and he just reached forward and grabbed me. He was comforting me.

And I, instead of pulling away like every instinct told me to, latched onto him and sobbed even harder.

I don't know if it was the lack of physical touch in two months, or if it was because the teensy crush I had on him was overpowering me, or what, but there I stood, crying on his expensive suit jacket and blubbering about how he shouldn't even want to touch me because I was useless and I screwed everything up.

Cute, Bella, really cute. He's definitely going to think you're perfectly normal now.

"Bella, what is going on? I don't understand. What staff members have you offended, because the ones I have talked to adore you."

I tried to stop my sobs, pushing away from Dr. Cullen and wiping at my eyes again.

God, I was a mess.

Dr. Cullen slid a desk drawer open and handed me a couple of tissues. I blew my nose, probably really unattractively, and took a deep breath. "You asked people about me?"

"Well, yeah. I told you that I looked into you."

"Dr. Cullen, I am so sorry for breaking down on you like this." I said. I was so embarrassed.

"I think it's only fair for you to call me Edward," Dr. Cullen said, leaning back on his desk onto the palms of his hands. "We aren't in school hours anymore, anyways, and this seems far too personal for you to go about calling me by my formal name."

I nodded, "Thanks… Edward," I said, trying out the name. It seemed to fit perfectly. I wanted to say it again, but I didn't want to weird him out.

Which, if I was being honest, I probably already had done.

"Now, please, tell me which staff member you feel like there are problems with."

I grimaced, "I kind of, pretty much told Alice Brandon that she looked like a high school kid."

Edward grimaced, too. "You wouldn't be the first to make that mistake. Besides, she didn't seem too upset about it when I asked her how you were doing with the kids."

I was surprised, "You asked Alice about me?"

"Well, of course. She's one of the best teachers I have in this school, and I trust her a great deal."

"I'm really hoping you talked to her after we made up, then." I watched Edward's face carefully, trying to read his expression. Like always, though, he was closed off and hard to read, his features calm and stoic.

"Actually, I asked Alice about you a little after you busted through my office doors looking for a bathroom."

My face was in flames. "Yeah, about that… I really do feel bad for barging in like that."

"Well, fortunately, I didn't think you were crazy or anything," Edward said playfully. "I asked around about that, too. You seem to have a number of admirers, Bella. Mr. Jasper Whitlock spoke very highly of you, and Mrs. Angela Weber had a lot of nice things to say. Apparently you are very soft-spoken and easy to get along with."

"Jasper said nice things about me? I was afraid that I had offended him in some way, too."

"How so?"

I bit my lip nervously, thinking about the woman that had been fired for sexual assault. I didn't want to get Jasper in trouble, especially if he was saying such nice things about me to the headmaster. "I kind of thought he may have been flirting with me… but, sir, I don't want to get Jasper in any trouble. He didn't do anything inappropriate. He was really friendly."

Edward looked at me thoughtfully, the only expression I was starting to recognize on his features. He seemed calm, but something in his eyes flickered. "Bella, do you know why the previous teacher in your position- ah, I mean, in the previous position you are substituting in- was fired for?"

I nodded, "I hate to admit it, but I heard a rumor that she was fired for sexually assaulting you, sir." I watched him closely, wondering how this would affect him. Any word coming near "sex" in range of Edward Cullen was intimidating on its own, but it didn't stop my curiosity of the subject. Like always, Edward remained stoic, but pursed his lips. It was impossible to read him.

"My point is, I don't want you to find yourself caught up in a situation like that. I'm working with my lawyer to create a new rule to add in our New Year guidelines that makes it almost impossible to have relationships in the workplace." Edward said, not answering my statement that had been phrased as a question at all. I wondered why he didn't answer. Maybe he was like Alice Brandon, and didn't want to add fuel to the flaming rumors? "We don't want to break up any serious relationships going on, though, because family is a key idea in our foundation, so there would have to be some sort of rule set up…"

"I don't think it would be a problem like that," I shook my head, "I think the worst that would happen would be rejection, and then I'd lose a kind friend I had just met."

"Jasper Whitlock is a great guy," Edward nodded, "But if you don't want to date him, you should tell him. It avoids any conflict, and frankly, as I am the boss of both of you, I'll have to ask you to keep it clean. I don't want any mess among staff members."

"I'm sorry," I said, feeling like I was going to suffocate under all the heat I was radiating. My cheeks were flaming, my neck was warm, and my ears were blazing. "I didn't mean for it to sound like I was interested in a relationship with him. I was just saying that maybe there was some flirting going on…"

"I'm also curious about something you aid earlier," Edward cleared his throat, "You mentioned feeling upset because your ex-boyfriend hates your guts? If you don't want to talk about it, I wouldn't ask you to, but I was just curious-,"

"Oh, that," I muttered, hoping in the back of my mind that he had written it off as a part of 'Bella's Crazy Speech'.

Obviously he had not.

"Yeah, that. I'm curious."

"Why, Dr. Cullen, that isn't exactly work place material to talk about," I raised an eyebrow at him, hoping my face wasn't reflecting the panic I was feeling.

He wanted to talk about my ex!

"Well, I'd say that this isn't exactly work-place hours," Edward shrugged, "And you seem troubled by it, and I'd even go as far as to say that as your boss it's my duty to make sure everything is okay in my employee's lives."

"Everything regarding their relationship status?" I could feel my heart beating frantically. A large part of me wanted to have this conversation with him, because I sort of felt like maybe he could be interested in me. I mean, I was plenty interested in him. Of course, I wouldn't know what to do with that, anyways- Edward Cullen was far out of my league, and I'm sure we didn't have anything at all in common, seeing that he was a freaking Greek god remodel and I was a simplistic girl with loads of problems- but it would be nice to think about.

A smaller part of me didn't want anything to do with this conversation at all. I didn't want to get into details of relationship statuses, and I didn't want to get involved in another relationship. Not when I was still hoping James would come back.

But, the tempting thought of Edward…

Not that it would ever happen for you, Bella. Look at him! He's beyond perfection!

"I didn't mean it like that," Edward shook his head. For once, I could kind of tell something from his expression.

He sort of looked nervous.

"I just wanted you to know that I'm here for you if you want to talk about it."

"I don't know…" I said uncertainly. I looked at Edward, not really sure where this was going. "I kind of don't want to talk about it, but I haven't ever really talked about it with anybody before."

"Can I ask you a question?" Edward asked, scooting down the desk edge so that he was right across from me.

"You just did," I said, feeling my lips turn up in a smile. "But, yeah, you can ask me a real question."

"Does your ex-boyfriend have anything to do with you not wanting to teach here?"

I stared at Edward, not really sure how he knew this. It was like he had read my mind. He knew exactly why I didn't want to commit to teaching… how?

"Who told you that?"

Edward looked uncomfortable. He shifted uncomfortably and avoided my eyes, living his hands up and down his legs. He still wore the grey suit, but his blue tie was slightly loosened.

"I talked to your mom a little bit."

But before he could finish explaining, I was interrupting him fiercely, horrified at my mother. "What did she tell you?!"

"Wait, hold on," He reached out a hand, but he didn't touch me. I wasn't sure what he was doing. I didn't really give him a chance, though; I was backing away, horrified.

"I can't believe she said something. She doesn't even really know details, or- or, well, what really happened-,"

"Bella, calm down," Edward stood up, his face morphing back into the alarmed expression he had held earlier. "She didn't say much, she just said that you were having… difficulties… coming back to school because you were under the impression that a man you were involved with was coming to get you."

I squared my shoulders and took a deep breath. This is definitely not where I thought this was going, at all. "Yeah, well my mother had no right to say that."

"Look, it's my fault. I asked her about you."

"Well, it's none of your business either," I snapped at him, crossing my arms over my abdomen. "You shouldn't have asked."

I realized it was a mistake as soon as I said it. His face went white, and his expression went from alarmed to his jaw clenching and his forehead furrowed.

Shit.

Of course, he had every right to ask me anything he wanted. He was my freaking boss!

"I'm sorry-," I hurried to explain myself, feeling horrified. He opened his mouth to speak, but I hastily kept blabbering. I stepped forward and shook my head, closing up a bit more space between us. "I didn't mean that. I let my emotions override what I was thinking, and I just kind of let it spill-,"

"I shouldn't have said anything," Edward shook his head, apologizing, but his face still looked really mad. I covered my mouth with my hands. "I let my curiosity override, and I should have controlled it better."

"Your curiosity?" I slowly lowered my hands. He was curious? About me?

Well, probably. You do sound like a maniac, you know.

"After Renee told me that you had experienced some hurt and probably wouldn't come back to teach, ever, I couldn't imagine such a scenario." He confessed, his green eyes blazing. I watched him, trying hard to not admire everything about him all over again. Even when I was trying to be pissed at him, at the situation, I couldn't help but marvel at his eyes. "I didn't know you then, of course, but after you came tumbling into my office… I couldn't imagine what could have happened to somebody like you."

"What do you mean?" I asked, feeling the anger dissipate slowly. I shakily moved closer to him and took a seat on the edge of the desk beside him, kicking my feet out in front of me on the ground to balance myself.

"You're probably one of the nicest people I've ever met," Edward shrugged, "I mean, the way you treat the kids is amazing. You take into consideration how it will affect their development. I've seen it before, but with you, you're always considering that factor."

"That's the only thing that makes me nice?" I asked, tracing circles on my knee instead of looking at him. I was still wearing the dress I had pulled out of my closet this morning.

"I'm not done," Edward sighed, "Bella, your face goes blood red at almost anything anybody says to you. You're naive enough to bust through my office thinking it was a freaking bathroom. You cry because you think you're hurting people's feelings by just being yourself. Hell, you were crying because you thought you hurt somebody's feelings because you didn't want to date him. I guess I just let my curiosity get the best of me, and in the way of my job when I shouldn't have."

"Edward," I said softly, finally looking up at him. He had called it right, of course. My face was burning just like he described. "That was really… observant."

He watched me, his brows furrowing again. "So, what happened?"

I sighed deeply, loving the way Edward's face remained calm. It made it easy for me to want to talk to him.

I mean, of course, I didn't want to tell him everything, but I didn't not want to tell him everything, either. Something about him made me think that I could tell him things about myself, which was weird because I barely knew him.

"Well, I guess it really started my sophomore year of college. I was an Elementary Ed major, just like you already know, and I met my boy- I mean, I met James. He was a junior, but we met one day on campus. We went to Mississippi College, and it was a small campus, so it wasn't hard to know everybody… anyways, we met at this stupid campus activities board event, and soon after that we started dating. I guess it was at the end of my sophomore year that I moved in with him. I wanted to do some summer internships instead of moving back home for the summer break, and he was renting a little house with some friends, so it was an easy solution… I mean, after all, we were in love and it was exciting to live with my boyfriend without the dumb college rules and curfews." I paused my story and took another deep breath. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be to talk about James. I hadn't made it to the hard part yet, though, so I guess I was being optimistic, but so far it wasn't hard to talk about how I met James, especially when Edward was listening to closely and so quietly.

He looked at me expectantly, so I continued. "So we lived together. After that summer, everything changed. I was so head-over-heels for James. He was a photography and journalism major, and he probably belonged at some Arts college or something, but i was sure that it was fate that I met him at this small Mississippi college. He seemed to love me, too, because he begged me not to move back into the dorms after that. I stayed with him, even after he graduated. Our little house wasn't being shared with two other smelly boys after they all graduated; it was just James and me. We converted one of the rooms into a studio for his photos and things, and he stayed shut up in there for his job- he was hired at this company kind of like National Geographic, and they asked him to edit a lot of pictures. He hated not being behind the camera, but understood that it would take some time to work his way up the career ladder.

"I graduated a little bit after that. I was twenty-two and fresh out of college, eager to plug myself into the nearest school and teach. It wasn't hard to find my first job; it seems like there's always a Jackson school hiring teachers. I was beginning my dream career, and James had finally worked his way up to being a local photographer for that magazine. Of course, they only wanted city pictures, and James' true passion was landscapes and travel, but he was willing to climb the career ladder a bit more to get the position he wanted the most. We had been together for two years, and we were really comfortable with each other. He was a great guy, easy to get along with, and always wanted to help with laundry." I told Edward.

Edward nodded, his eyebrows knitted in confusion. "I'm not really sure why you two broke up… it sounds like everything was alright?"

"Yeah, well, I'm not done," I said, watching Edward carefully again. I was wondering how he would react when I started telling him about when things went bad.

"Things started getting stressful for James later on in our relationship. I was around twenty-four when he had finally gotten the promotion he wanted. He was suddenly traveling everywhere- Ireland, the Netherlands, Iceland… beautiful, beautiful places. Of course, I always wanted to go with him, because who wouldn't want to travel the world with a man they're in love with while he photographed the world's wonders, but I didn't have an opportunity because I was staying at home teaching. It didn't take long for this to irritate James.

"I think he loved me still, but maybe he wasn't as in love with me as he was in love with his job. After he went on his first adventure, he came back a little different. He was happy, and eager to go back, and to tell about everything he saw… but James started to act different as well. He would be offended when I said things like 'I wish I could have gone,' or 'maybe next time I can go,' because he knew I couldn't. When we got into arguments nothing was ever his fault, and he never admitted to being wrong. It was a real strain, and James wasn't the same guy anymore."

"But you loved him, right?" Edward's voice was small, kind of distant. He was looking at his feet, but I could see from the side of his face that his brows were still furrowed in thought. "What happened?"

"Yeah, I loved him a lot. He kept going back on his adventures, and to really beautiful places, too. I guess I expected him to come back with a ring one day, I don't know. He wasn't as unpleasant as I described him as, but then again, I didn't really see it until now." I could feel my heart beating faster. Now I was starting to get to the part that was uncomfortable to talk about. "I haven't really told anybody this stuff before. My mom knows, but only because I didn't have anywhere else to go…"

Edward looked at me, his eyebrows raised. I sighed and continued. "Anyways, he would leave me while he travelled. I stayed in the house by myself a lot, because he was gone for weeks at a time, usually two times a month. When he was back home, he stayed in his studio editing his pictures. He was becoming pretty famous for his photos, and the actual National Geographic magazine bought a few of his pictures. He was bringing home a lot of money, and our relationship was getting a little better. I quit teaching so I could travel with James, because with the money he was making, I could go a couple of years without working while he did. We were having sex a lot more, and we were generally happy for a little while."

I took a deep breath and wrapped my hands around my stomach tightly. I could feel my eyes pricking with tears. Edward heard my shaky breath and patted my hand awkwardly. "I thought he was going to propose to me. I thought we were going to get married, and I was going to be his wife. What I got, though, wasn't a ring… I got pregnant."

Edward obviously didn't expect this at all. He didn't make any noise, though, as if he didn't want to interrupt me. He watched me, his jaw clenched and his green eyes sad. The rest of his face was stoic and expressionless. I continued on, knowing I had to finish the story then. My hands were wrapped so tightly around my abdomen that I could feel my arms going stiff and starting to ache.

"I got pregnant, and though I was really surprised, I was also really scared. I had always planned to be married to James before we started a family, but that wasn't exactly what happened. We lived together and we were pretty much already married, but I didn't wear a ring. I didn't carry his last name. It was sad, but I knew I was going to keep it. James would never ask me to get an abortion, and even though we didn't plan on having a baby, he would still be happy about it. We had talked about having a family before, and he had always wanted kids, so I thought he'd be okay with the idea when I told him about it."

"Was he?" Edward interrupted. I was crying by then, and tears were silently falling down my face, but they weren't falling hard enough to make me sniffle or sob. They were just droplets that I batted away annoyingly.

"I told him as soon as I found out. I was twenty-five, five weeks pregnant, and nervous about what he'd say. However, I had no reason to be scared. He was ecstatic. We flew from Rome back to our little, rented house and we stayed there instead of planning another trip. James was really excited to be a dad, and the topic of marriage came up a lot more than it did before. Everything was perfect."

"Perfect," Edward muttered, his eyes flicking to my face. I batted away tears and rubbed at my burning eyes.

"Yes, perfect, until I lost the baby." I deadpanned. Edward bit his lip and sucked in his breath. I closed my eyes, letting the tears fall. I was crying now, so hard I couldn't see. When I spoke, my voice shook and I tried my best not to stumble over my words. "James was so upset when I told him. I don't really know why or how I lost the baby, just that I did. It was only five weeks, and it wasn't even a week after I found out that I had it when I found out I lost it. I was devastated. I had been having dreams about a little girl with my mother's eyes, or a little boy with James' nose. I was truly excited to have a baby, because I loved kids. James found me in the bathroom… it was awful, Edward. We cried together. You know, you'd think that things like this, things like a family going through a loss, would bring two people closer together. That's not what happened, though.

"James and I comforted each other the best that we could, but a few weeks later it got hard. James needed to go back to work, and I stayed in bed. He came home one day, kissed my forehead, and told me he was leaving. He was going to Canada, and I wasn't invited. He wanted me to stay home and get better, and it was really weird… he asked me to go back to work. He hadn't ever really done that before. When I was working and I couldn't travel with James, we fought over my job being so… constricting. Then, after we lost the baby, he wanted me to go back. I couldn't even _think_ about going back to a school! A school full of children, children that would most certainly remind me of a child I would never be able to raise. I remember not replying, just laying there in bed, confused. He left that afternoon after packing, and I didn't hear from him again.

"I mean, of course, I _heard_ from him. He didn't call like he usually did, but he sent me an email. It was so, so awful. He told me he wasn't going to pay the next month's rent, and that he wasn't coming back for a little while. James told me he didn't want me to follow him, either. He left me, Edward. After losing our baby, he left me…" My body shook and I could no longer move fast enough to wipe away all the tears that were falling. I cried and Edward looked alarmed- like always- and tried to comfort me by putting his arms around me again. I let him, leaning on his shoulder and trying to take deep gulps of air to breathe.

"I didn't really have anywhere to go. I had spent six whole years with James. I called my mom and told her everything, and she paid for a taxi to bring me to her house. She let me lay around for a couple of months, but then she started suggesting that I come here, to substitute. One day she just let me have it! She gave me a bit of tough love, and then, I don't know, somehow I ended up here."

"Six years is a long time to be with somebody." Edward said after a few moments of silence.

"It's not so bad," I shrugged, "I loved him. I just don't think he loved me as much as I thought he did."

Edward stared at me thoughtfully again. I stared back, wondering what he would say. I just told him a whole lot of personal stuff when I barely knew him.

He made it so easy, though. He was a good listener, and it was easy to keep going with my story once I had started telling it.

And honestly, it wasn't as hard as I thought to talk about it.

I thought that I would have a harder time talking about it, but it was easy to state the facts.

"I'm sorry that happened," Edward said, "I can understand that you don't really know who you are anymore- at least, I think that's what you're trying to tell me. You don't know who you are or why you even chose Elementary Education in the first place. I can understand that after six years of living as one half of a "we," you're now just a "me," so that can be complicated. I think you should really try to find out why you fell in love with education in the first place, because you're really good at it."

I hadn't really thought of it like that before. It was true that I wasn't sure what was going on with myself after this situation. I had lost a baby, a piece of me. I spent six years of my life following James around the country, and living and loving him, and now I was alone without him. I expected to marry him, and to have his children… now that neither were happening, I don't really know where I stand.

"I don't have a desire to teach or be around children," I said, "Which makes my whole education a waste."

Which was true. I was back at square one- living at home with my mother at the age of twenty-six and without the man I loved for six years.

"I think you're struggling to find out who you are without James, and if you ask me, you're not really sure why you ever loved him… or teaching… in the first place." Edward said, "And I don't think that you're being fully honest, either. Maybe for a couple of months you _felt_ like you didn't have a desire to be around children, but Bella, you're doing it now. You agreed to help me out for three more weeks. If you truly didn't have a desire to be around kids or to teach, you would've said hell no and ran."

I sat there for a moment, digesting what he was saying. He was 100% correct. I was letting my past overrun me, and I was letting myself believe that I didn't want to teach because James had convinced me to follow him around the world. Then, after I lost my baby and he left me, it was just another excuse not to go back to what I loved.

"Bella, you have to quit punishing yourself. Do what you love. You deserve it."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The next few days went by in a blur. I couldn't stop thinking about what Edward had said, and how well we had connected after finally talking.

Edward was a great listener, and he was patient with me when I lashed out over my past.

I was really busy over the weekend; my mother decided to take me shopping for new substituting clothes, which meant we visited the nearest big city. Jackson wasn't too terribly far from my mother's house, so we spent the entire Saturday shopping around the capitol of Mississippi.

Whenever I had a chance, usually in between changing room visits, I thought about Edward, and what he had said that stood out the most to me.

 _You have to quit punishing yourself_.

He was right.

Annoyingly right, but still right.

Because I _was_ punishing myself. I was taking away things I loved doing, like teaching, being plugged into a school, and thinking about children.

In the mirror of the dressing room, I rubbed my stomach. It was heartbreakingly empty.

Would I ever _not_ feel broken?

The truth was, losing my baby meant a whole lot more to me than what met the eye. Sure, miscarriages were awful and heartbreaking, but most people don't realize how bad it hurts for the mother.

I felt like a total failure.

Some would say that it was the job of a woman to carry a child, and I couldn't even do that part right. I couldn't provide enough for my baby.

My poor baby, who never even had the chance to fend for his or herself…

And James!

James, who I had also lost. My first and only love.

I had to remind myself that he had left me, and that he hadn't exactly given me a real reason to leave, either.

I sniffled and lowered my shirt. I'd have to stop thinking about all of this, and allow myself to heal.

My thoughts strayed back to Edward. Weirdly, I couldn't stop thinking about him, either. It puzzled me, because while he was attractive, attentive, and a good listener, I hardly knew anything else about him. I had poured out my heart to him, told him my most vulnerable secret, and he had only sat there and listened.

Yet, I still felt like I knew him so well.

Maybe it was the feeling of trust towards him, or the feeling that I could tell him literally anything and he'd sit and listen, but I had all these emotions to deal with.

Talking through my problems made me think about them more. I thought about the baby, about James, about my whole college experience, and about Edward, and how he had held me when I cried.

Oh, that was so weird!

I wrapped my arms around my abdomen, in their comfort spot, and followed my mother around the mall. Edward's arms had been around me, hugging me. My forehead had been on his chest, and it was just so…

So weird? So comfortable?

So comforting…

The rest of the weekend was dull. I hung up all my new clothes, looking at the mostly empty closet in awe.

I barely owned anything around here. The closet held maybe fourteen outfits total, three shoe pairs, and I had a dresser with underwear and socks. I didn't have much, and I had come to my mother's house with these clothes and a cell phone.

I was twenty-six years old, and I didn't have much to show for it. Just a few clothes and a few shoes.

It was odd to me that I had lived in James' house for so many years, and had never had to buy anything for myself. He had always bought things for the house, constantly reminding me that he would provide whatever was needed for his house. I was welcome to use whatever I liked, but he bought everything.

Looking back at it, I wondered if it was because he always knew we wouldn't end up together? Did he know we would never marry? Was it his plan to leave me one day, and then I'd have nothing?

A thought occurred to me as I sat on my made bed and stared at my mostly empty bedroom.

I had never lived alone.

Growing up, I lived in my family's house. I had a bedroom, but I still lived with people. In college, I had a dorm, but I also had a roommate. Then, soon after, I lived with James.

I had no idea what it was like to have my own home, or my own space. What was it like to come home to an empty apartment, or house? Of course, there were times that James went on his work travels, but I always expected him to be home. I never paid bills, and I never had to deal with finding a home.

I wondered how long I'd be able to stay at my mother's house. I was twenty-six. There had to be a time that I would have to move out. I couldn't live with her forever, could I?

I made the decision to start looking for apartments in the area later that week. It was a weird thought, looking for a home on my own, but I could grow used to it. I had enough money saved, after all. Since James hadn't asked me to pay for anything besides a little bit of money here and there for rent, I had more than enough for a place to live, especially if it was an apartment. I made a mental note to search online later on.

The week began somewhat slowly. I was grateful t go back to the school. I told myself it was because I wasn't holed up in my mother's house anymore, so I was thankful for the opportunity to substitute since it got me away.

I knew deep down, though, that something was changing.

I was growing fond of the kids in my classroom.

Little Taylor Weber was becoming a favorite student of mine. She was always so eager to help, had many questions about her subjects, and was a constant encourager to her peers. I liked hearing her ideas and her thoughts on the stories she was reading. I loved to read to my class, and when we finished a book together, my heart squeezed like a comfortable hug.

In the lounge on Tuesday, Alice Brandon sat next to me and grinned widely. "Tell me all about your meeting with Dr. Cullen!"

Lauren Mallory was also in the lounge, but she didn't seem to be listening. She was typing furiously on her iPhone, her eyebrows drawn together and her lips pursed. Coach Jacob Black chatted with Jasper Whitlock about Friday's football game. I scanned the room before answering, though, just incase anybody was listening.

Not that it was anything scandalous. I bit my lip and smiled at Alice. "It was much nicer than I expected. I thought I was in trouble. I wasn't."

"I could've told you that," Alice shrugged. She ran her finger around the rim of her diet coke can. "So you met him? He's nice, right?"

"I'd say so," I nodded, "He's a good listener."

"So is his sister," Alice nodded back, sipping on her diet coke.

"His sister?" I asked, confused. Was I supposed to know who his sister was?

"Well, sister-in-law. You've met her! Coach Hale… Rosalie?" Her eyebrows went up, her green eyes wide. "You didn't know that?"

"I guess I didn't," I said. Then, I recalled something Lauren Mallory said about Coach Hale being married. "Oh, wait! She doesn't go by 'Coach Cullen,' I remember something about that now."

"Rosalie is a newly-wed. She married Dr. Cullen's brother, Emmett." Alice said, "Rose and I are great friends."

"That's sweet," I smiled, "So Dr. Cullen hired his sister-in-law?"

"No," She answered, "Emmett came up here one day to see his brother, and it was love at first sight. The two have been together ever since… or at least, that's how she tells it. You should ask her about it! I think you two would like each other."

"Alice, I have a question."

"Okay," She nodded encouragingly, putting her can back down on the table.

"What made you change your mind about me? I mean, you didn't like me at all. Then all of a sudden you were really friendly."

She looked at me thoughtfully, fingering the little wisps of hair around her face before answering. "I thought I told you, I wasn't being fair to you. I've been mistaken for a student before, that wasn't your fault. Obviously you weren't trying to be rude to me, you were honest."

"Well, I still feel really bad about it." I told her. "I can't believe I did that."

"Don't sweat it. Besides, Bella, I really like you." Her eyes sparkled, "There aren't many women around here that I can get along easily with. You don't seem to be into gossip, which is all some of these teachers want to talk about. I admire that about you."

"But you seem to know everything," I said, "No offense, but I kind of thought you knew everything because you liked gossip… don't take that the wrong way, please."

She shrugged, "I hear a lot of things, but it all comes down to who you're friends with. I like to stay on everybody's good side, and the only way to do that is to simply stay out of the gossip. However, I do get the advantage over-hearing when I'm quiet. It's interesting, to say the least."

I grinned, "I'll bet it is. You know everything that goes on around here!"

"I can pretty much see everything coming," Alice said. "I knew Emmett a while before he met Rose. We graduated from here together. Anyways, when I met Rose I thought they'd be a perfect fit, but I didn't want to get in the way of them meeting. It's not really my job, but it's interesting to watch."

"I like how you watch everything happen, but you're not interested in spreading it." I told her. "It's admirable, and I respect that."

"Bella, I'd like to be your friend," Alice smiled at me. "You're really a nice girl."

"You are, too, Alice."

"We should get drinks sometime," She said, "Obviously not on a school night, though. I usually go home for wine and watch _The Bachelor_ re-runs or something, but we can go out Friday night if you're up for it."

I liked the idea of hanging out with Alice. "You know, that sounds like a great idea. I haven't been out in a while."

"I'm looking forward to it," Alice stood up, "I'll see you around, Bella!"

And with that, she was gone, leaving me in the lounge to myself.

~oOo~

I went half of the week without seeing Dr. Cullen.

It wasn't on purpose, either. I was busy with organizing for the rest of the week, and I was so caught up with my class that I barely thought about him until I was home, laying in bed and wondering about what he actually did during the day.

Did Dr. Cullen walk around looking into classroom windows at his teachers, observing their teaching habits? That's what the previous school I worked for did. Somehow, though, I feel like I would have noticed Dr. Cullen's beautiful bronze hair in the window.

It was Thursday morning when I actually ran into him.

And I do mean literally _ran into him_.

I was looking down at my shoes, mentally going through my list of things to do before my kids got out of their special. I had to run off worksheets, complete the spelling test grades, and I wanted to stop by the lounge for a coffee before going back to the classroom. I heard the door open, and before I registered his voice, I felt him.

"Yes, of course, Jenks. I'll see you this afternoon- and tell Michelle not to worry about dessert. I can get a cheesecake-,"

And, embarrassingly enough, I ran smack into him. To make matters worse, I had hit him so hard that I rebounded and landed right on my ass.

In front of Edward Cullen.

When I looked up, my face burning and my eyes wide, I was horrified to find that Mr. Jenks, the lawyer I met in Dr. Cullen's office previously, was standing right behind Edward and smirking, looking like he was about to burst out laughing.

"Oh, God," I groaned, pushing myself off the ground. Edward blinked, obviously surprised, and reached down for my hand.

"Miss Swan! I didn't see you! I am so sorry-,"

"It's my fault," I babbled, smoothing my skirt down over my legs. I was mortified. Both men probably got a full view up my skirt. I hoped like hell neither noticed. "I wasn't even looking. I am so sorry."

"I should've been looking when I left my office," Edward's hands were in his hair, tugging nervously. Mr. Jenks chuckled from behind Edward, and clapped a hand on his shoulder.

"Look, man, I'll catch you later. Thank you for meeting with me on such short notice. I'll see you this evening." He looked over Edward's shoulder at me, his smirk still present. "Goodbye, Miss Swan."

My face was still scorching as I stood there, embarrassed and horribly mad at myself for running right into Mr. Perfect.

"Are you okay?" He asked, still running his fingers through his hair. He wore a navy suit, but his jacket was missing. He looks absolutely stunning in his crisp white button down, his sleeves rolled up, and the top two buttons undone. His tie was missing, and his facial hair was not as clean-shaven as usual. It suddenly occurred to me that he looked stressed out.

"I'm fine," I said, my eyebrows drawing together, "Are you?"

"Me?" He looked taken aback, "I'm fine, Bella. Are you busy?"

"I'm running errands before the kids get out of their special," I explained, "Why?"

"I've been talking with Jenks about what you told me last week. I wanted to speak to you about what we talked about Friday," He said, pushing his hands into his pant pockets. "It's been a long morning."

"About Friday?" My eyes widened. "You told Mr. Jenks?"

His eyes widened almost as much as mine did, and his mouth opened slightly. "Oh, God, no, Bella. I didn't mean… _that_. I meant about how you're not planning on coming back after Christmas."

My face wasn't was hot as before, but it was still warm. "Oh," I muttered.

He watched my carefully. "Have you changed your mind?"

"I don't know," I shook my head. "No… yes… I don't know."

"Right," Edward said carefully, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I have things to do before the kids get back," I shook my head, "I don't want to leave them waiting."

"Of course," He said, "Can I speak to you soon, though? I do need to touch base with you on a few things."

I nodded. I'd agree to anything this man asked me. He nodded and pushed on his office door, swinging it open. "Just stop by whenever. Thanks, Miss Swan."

"Of course, Dr. Cullen," I murmured, taking my chance to escape. I scurried along, wiping my backside of any dust I may have gotten on it when I fell.

~oOo~

I didn't get the chance to stop by Edward's office until Thursday after class had ended. Teachers were busying themselves with pick-up, and my mother was on afternoon duty. I took the opportunity to visit his office, determined not to embarrass myself in front of him again.

I realized that every time I had come face-to-face with the man, I had somehow either fallen or embarrassed myself in some way. It was really exasperating. I wanted him to see me as somebody professional, not somebody who couldn't control their own feet- or emotions.

"Come in," Edward's voice answered after I knocked three times fast. I was determined this time to be confident, and to pay attention to my awkward feet.

 _You've got this, Bella. Head straight for the chair, and keep your head up. Confidence is key!_

"Oh, Bella," Edward said as soon as I entered. His hair looked even messier than it did earlier that day, and his shirt was wrinkled, the buttons still undone. His coat was draped over one of the chairs across from his desk. I had never seen him so… undone.

"Is now a good time?" I asked, eyeing the laptop open on his desk. He looked busy; there were several open notebooks, writing scribbled in every one of them. His usual organized desk was crazy with post-it notes, and it looked like he had at least four pens strolled across the giant desktop.

"What?" Edward looked down at his obviously messy desk and frowned. "Yeah, just come in. Have a seat."

He went back to typing, muttering under his breath. I moved towards the chair, uncomfortable with seeing him this way.

What was going on?

 _Focus, Bella! You're so not about to screw up and fall in front of him again. Concentrate._

I took a seat and watched him. He looked kind of… rough.

"Edward," I said softly, watching his furrowed brow. "Are you sure you're alright? You're looking really strained and stressed today."

"I know," He paused his typing to run his fingers through his hair and to give me a weary look. His eyes were beautiful and a golden green, but there were obvious signs of distress in them. "Give me one second, please. I need to finish this, but I want to see you."

My stomach jumped. He wanted to see me!

I waited patiently, wondering what was going on. I was stuck between deciding if it was a good idea to ask what was stressing him out and deciding that it was none of my business.

But I had told him my entire business last week. It was only fair that I listened to him the way he listened to me, right? Talking to him had calmed me, and it made dealing with everything so much easier.

Then I had to wonder if he even wanted to tell me what was going on. He barely knew me, after all. He had said earlier that day that he wanted to talk to me about something. What if he decided that I was too, I don't know, unstable to teach.

Would he do that? Would he ask me to leave and not to come back because he didn't think I was in a good enough mindset to be around children at the moment?

My heart beat faster at the thought. I was just starting to like where I was. It was a weird revelation, understanding that I did like to be here. I knew I liked the kids and the classroom, but I was sure I couldn't stay long-term. However, I wasn't ready to leave just yet! He couldn't ask me to go. Not yet…

Not when I was just starting to enjoy it again.

His typing slowed until he stopped completely, his eyes scanning over the computer screen.

God, he was beautiful.

In every aspect, too. His scruff, probably meant to be unattractive on some men, did nothing to diminish his attractiveness. Somehow, it intensified, and Edward looked great. He looked ruffled, unkept, and… well, sexy.

His hair was what some may have referred to as just-fucked-in-the-broom-closet hair, and the top two undone buttons did nothing to make thoughts stray from that idea. I found myself wondering if he had ever been in a broom closet before.

I was entertaining the idea when Edward cleared his throat loudly. I realized I was daydreaming and snapped out of it quickly.

 _Focus, Bella. You will not embarrass yourself this time! Be cool. Be confident._

"Hey," He said, lowering the screen on his laptop to a close. "Sorry about that. Jenks has so much paperwork for me to do, and I wanted it done before I left the office."  
I nodded, "Is that what you're stressing out over?"

Edward blinked, looking unsure. He obviously wasn't sure if he wanted to reveal this piece of information to me or not.

"Never mind. You don't have to tell me," I shrugged, "I just thought you'd want to talk about it."

"Well, that's not it," Edward said, "It's just weird. It's not something to speak to staff about just yet."

"I'm not staff," I reasoned, raising one eyebrow at him. "Remember? I'm just a substitute."

Edward grimaced, but his eyes flickered with amusement. "That is true, I guess."

"So spill the beans," I challenged.

 _Holy shit, Swan! Confidence level = 110%_

He must have noticed my confidence, too, because he smirked. "Alright. Well, after the sexual harassment case, Jenks decided that there would have to be some sort of code to follow."

"A code?" I asked.

Edward nodded slowly. "We've been trying to find a way to work around married couples on staff, but essentially the idea is to make sure no employees are sleeping together. It just makes sure that there will be no cases of sexual harassment here- well, to the best of our ability, we're going to make sure."  
"How exactly are you planning on doing that?" I asked, thinking about it in my head. It sounded really complicated. There were so many teachers here, not including middle school and high school. How would Dr. Cullen be able to monitor all their relationships?

"We're going to ask every staff member to sign a document. We need to be sure that there is consent on both ends, basically. The new rule will go into effect after the new year; next semester will be very strict when it comes to staff relationships. I don't want anybody involved unless it's written in ink and stored in my filing cabinet."

"That's going to be really difficult," I pointed out.

"It's for the best interest of every staff member," Edward shrugged. "I realize it's difficult. I've been working with Jenks all morning on the details. It's do-able; we just want to stay as far away from any more court cases as we can."

"I understand that," I nodded. "So, just to be clear, if the couple is together, they must state so in their papers before next semester?"

Edward nodded. "That's the idea."

"What if they get together after the papers are turned in?" I asked.

"They must turn in their documents saying they are in a relationship. I can't go through another lawsuit. It's really important."

"Oh, no, I get that it's important, I'm just trying to understand," I explained. "If, say, a male teacher and a female teacher started dating without documentation, what happens to them?"

"It would have to confirmed that they were dating, or sleeping together," Edward said, "But we'd be a liability if something wasn't done. If something happened and, say, the female teacher claimed rape or sexual harassment, we'd be screwed. If there's no documentation, I'd have to terminate the pair. I don't want to have to do that."

"No, I can see why you wouldn't want to," I agreed, "Would you allow any type of dating in the workplace, though? Would the couple with forms be able to say they were together?"

"It's just sort of a contract," Edward rubbed his neck with the palm of his hand, "I'm just asking them to sign a contract to confirm a consensual relationship so that there is provided notice of the sexual harassment policy. There will be no public display of affection- there is no PDA now, as it is, but I want this to be very clear- at work, as well as no messy breakups at work, either. Of course, the employees have the right to speak to a lawyer, and Jenks, the school's lawyer, before signing, but thats the idea of the contract."

"So it's not banned completely?" I asked, trying to see the entire picture. I had a pretty good idea of what he was talking about, but I wanted to be sure.

"Why so many questions, Miss Swan?" Edward chuckled, "Is there an employee you're interested in?"

My stomach dipped, and I felt it flutter.

 _Maybe. Maybe not._

"I'm not an employee, remember?" I smirked at Edward, "Besides, you know there's nobody I'm dating here."

Edward's chuckle died and a serious expression came over his features. "To answer your question, no, it isn't completely banned, but it's going to be complicated to get the paperwork in and whatnot. The idea is simply to keep relationships away from the school, but if the work is done correctly, it is possible."

"I understand," I nodded.

"I wanted to talk to you about what you told me Friday," Edward leaned back in his chair, watching me seriously. "This is kind of off the record, though. It's not really about business, but curiosity."

 _Don't blush, Swan. Confidence._

"We're not done with you, yet, though." I said, crossing my legs and leaning forward. "I want to know what's stressing you out so bad about your paperwork."

"Don't worry about that part," Edward snorted, scooting his rolling desk chair back up to the desk. He leaned forward, too, mirroring me. "I told you I was working on stressful policies."

"Are you stressing because you have a girlfriend in the workplace?" I raised my eyebrows. "Are you trying to find a way around the policy?"

"What! No!" He looked genuinely surprised. "I don't have a girlfriend. My relationship is with my job."

I felt relief wash through me. I hadn't even realized that I was holding in my breath, either.

It was obvious that I was attracted to Edward, but I was a bit confused about why I didn't want him to be involved with somebody. If I did like him, I barely knew anything about him. I had no reason to want him to be single. I barely knew him. I frowned at the thought.

"Besides, I want to make the policy to where the chain of authority is absolutely not allowed to have any kind of relationship with other employees without documentation. I want it checked regularly by Jenks, too. It shouldn't be hard; the board members are all married or divorced, the principals of the middle school and high school are both already married, and the principal of the elementary is widowed. I would be the only candidate eligible for the policy, and I would like to think that I would not break my own rule."

I nodded. "So you're stressed because…"

"Like I said, don't worry about it," Edward grinned. "Back to you."

I rolled my eyes at him, but smiled anyways. His grin was infectious.

"What about me?" I asked. I remembered my earlier fear about him probably thinking I wasn't stable enough for the job. My heart beat faster, and I bit my lip.

 _No… no, Swan. Concentrate. Remember, confidence is key._

"I've been thinking about what you told me last week," Edward said, running his fingers through his hair, tugging thoughtfully. I watched his long fingers wrap around his bronze curls and pull. I was mesmerized, wondering what it would feel like to do it myself.

I bet his hair is really soft.

"What about it?" I asked carefully, rubbing my knee. I pulled my gaze away and watched my hand rub circles on my knee cap. He was gorgeous, and I couldn't think straight if I was watching him.

"I want to help you." He said, and I couldn't make out the tone in his voice. Was he treading the subject carefully? Was he stating rather than asking me? I wasn't sure. I felt my eyebrows come together, confused about what he was saying.

"Help me with what?" I asked, looking back up at him.

"You said you couldn't remember why you fell in love with teaching. You said you didn't know who you were anymore…" He took a deep breath, his golden-green eyes connecting with my plain brown ones. "I want to help you. If you'll let me, I mean."

I would probably do whatever the man asked me to do.

"What do you mean?"

"I just want to help you remember who you were. It's going to be hard, because I didn't know you before, but I remember things your mom would tell me about you. Of course, I thought she was talking about a teenage daughter or something, not you… but the point is, I can't stop thinking about what you said, and it depresses the hell out of me." Edward took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair again. "Please let me help you, Bella."

I already knew my answer, of course. A scary thought danced through my head; would I do anything this man asked me to? I had never been attracted to somebody like him before. Everything about him was gorgeous, and the way it was just so easy to talk to him blew me away.

And this ridiculously attractive man was offering to spend extra time with me to help me "find myself."

It was an obvious answer, and it didn't take me long to nod.

"Okay, Edward," I said softly. I wondered if there would ever be anything that he would ask of me that I wouldn't do. It was a very intense thought; it was very deep, and kind of frightening, but at the moment I didn't think much of it.


End file.
